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The Cocaine Turtle military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Cocaine Turtle could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
Cocaine Turtle doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Cocaine Turtle.
Cocaine Turtle can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?".
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Cocaine Turtle turned that wine into beer.