this is where he touched me officer

this guy won't stop ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ on my bed

At one point I wanted to feel and be treated more like a woman. It was a passing phase, but I was determined to know what it was like. So I started maining Mercy in Overwatch. All the adoration and attention for just existing on the team was truly wonderful. But then I began to notice how men would lust after me. They saw my stats and wanted—no, NEEDED me to carry them up the ranks. I said yes at first, just to humor them. I thought they’d get over it eventually after a few games. But we kept winning and men just desired me even more. I couldn’t go into a game without some neckbeard saying “Hell yeah! A Mercy main!” after checking my hours on her. Even in quickplay when I wanted a breath of fresh air, I couldn’t escape the Mercy pick. I had BECOME a Mercy.

I was addicted to feeling indispensable to the team. I hated Mercy, but I could pick nobody else. Eventually I had to step away from the game entirely and wean myself. Notifications from my admirers kept popping up and tempting me to join a match. Just one more match. What’s the harm? But I resisted the urge and blocked out everyone. My life was falling apart because I wasn’t content being a lonely, unappreciated male. There was a gamer girl inside of me, itching to break free. Now she is destroying me. I hear Mercy’s pistol and healing rays in my sleep. I see her ultimate charging up in the corner of my eye as I listen to the therapist. They say heroes never die, but they’re wrong. I had to kill one.

Soulja Boy off in this oh
Watch me crank it, watch me roll
Watch me crank dat, Soulja Boy
Then Superman dat oh
Now watch me you
Now watch me you
Now watch me you
Soulja boy I tell 'em
Hey I got a new dance fo you all called the soulja boy
(Yoooouuuu!)
You gotta punch then crank back three times from left to right
(Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh yeeeeaaaah!)
Soulja Boy up in it (OH!)
Watch me crank it
Watch me roll
Watch me crank dat Soulja Boy,
That Superman dat (OH!)
Now watch me do
(Crank dat, Soulja)
Now watch me do
(Crank dat, Soulja)
Now watch me do
(Crank dat, Soulja)
Now watch me do
(Crank dat, Soulja)
Soulja Boy up in it (OH!)
Watch me crank it
Watch me roll
Watch me crank dat Soulja Boy,
That Superman dat (OH!)
Now watch me do
(Crank dat, Soulja)
Now watch me do
(Crank dat,…

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Post this on the walls of the 12 prettiest Girls you know...
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