If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes, You may be a Muslim.
If you have more wives than teeth, You may be a Muslim.
If you wipe your butt with your bare hand but consider bacon to be unclean, You may be a Muslim.
If you think vests come in two styles: Bullet-proof and suicide. You may be a Muslim
If you can't think of anyone you haven't declared jihad against, You may be a Muslim.
If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing, You may be a Muslim.
If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs, You may be a Muslim.
If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four, You may be a Muslim.
If you find this offensive and don't forward it, You may be a Muslim

Women love speaking in code.

So when she says "I'm fine"

She really means "Cigarette smoking is responsible for more than 480,000 deaths per year in the United States, including an estimated 41,000 deaths resulting from secondhand smoke exposure. This is about one in five deaths annually, or 1,300 deaths every day".

So listen to her and be aware of what she's really saying.

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