Recent reviews by UnknownNarwhal

working at blizzard is considered cruel and inhumane punishment according to US law

it is gud

This game makes you question things.
Why did I only want to go up? To escape the awful truth of reality and transcend even the bonds of gravity.

Why did I even bother escaping the spiderweb if I knew the fly was going to die soon? I wouldn't be satisfied with myself if I left my world to end around me without any struggle.

Why did I always push against the breezes when it didn't matter whether they pushed me around? It does matter and I'll fight anything that gets in the way of my dream to reach the stars.

I reached the stars why do I continue upwards? There is no end to what I can accomplish I will always try to strive higher.

Why did I die a horrible death for only doing the best I could? There's one that's still unanswered. I'm not sure if it'll ever be answered.
10/10

This is where I go after I play Dark Souls.

Now this game once played enough can bring up so many questions that need answers.
Why can't these pugs swim? Why is it that they die when they should be just paddling on the water?
What makes them so suicidal? They willingly jump head first into spikes, lava, dead bodies, floating boxes you name it yet they just keep on chugging despite the odds.
What makes the pugs so determined that they don't stop to look in the treasure chests? Who would keep running after just risking thier lives when they could instead just pick up some money on the way?


Questions aside here's some things that help you figure out if you should get the game.

Do you have no money? Then buy this game cuz it costs less money than I'm worth so everyone can afford this.
The jack-o-lantern pug is my favorite because he's always lit.

There's literally so many pugs. So many pugs.

The music is top notch. Theres the song that has the guitar that changes around 2000 ish and suddenly gets hype as ♥♥♥♥. Then theres the other song that after listening to it a bunch you start humming that at school while sacrificing your friends to the pug gods.
It's also a great anti-depressant because you can kill pugs and listen to happy music at the same time. Plus no one has the balls to kill themselves after committing a holocaust worth of pug killings so it solves basically all the problems of society.
10/10 pugs now rule my life