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🤐
Oh, by the way, which one's Pink?
-- Pink Floyd
😘
The first marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence,
and the second the triumph of hope over experience.
😩
Meg: Chris, quit it! Mom, Chris put his foot on my side again.
Chris: I can't help it, I have these long dancer's legs.
😪
Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn't find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, "always leave things the way you found em!"
😗
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
😲