Devan this is Margie and Fergus. We have to say that we are really disappointed in you, my boy. Ethan has informed us that it has been over two weeks since you last smoked a cigarette. He also told us that when you did smoke, you coughed after your first toke. This is quite simply unacceptable and things are going to have to change. When we were your age, we smoked two packs a day, had a cigar after dinner, and went to sleep with a Nicorette on each of our arms. If we hear anything like this again, we are going to be very upset. We will have no choice but to come up to Joburg with a carton to make you the man we know you can be.

If you see this ape in your game, abandon. Absolutely trash

The bar was almost empty by now, the evening had slowly given way to night and the sounds of the cars and motorbikes outside had faded away into the cool air.

"Another Castle Light, Dev?"

Devan looked up at the barman, and his face broke out into a wide grin.

"Don't mind if I do!"

The crisp Castle Light flowed through him, but as he sat happy with his drink, his eyelids began to close, and darkness started to creep into the corners of his vision.

"What's happen-" He said as his head slumped against the bar.

Devan's eyes flew open, he was sitting in a chair in a dark room. The walls glared down at him as he shifted in the seat. Only then did he look down to see thick ropes tied around him. He struggled against his bonds, yet they were too strong for him to break. He looked around the room desperately, trying to find something to free himself. On a small wooden table, just out of his reach was what looked like a hand, made completely out of gold, with the letter "M" chiselled across the palm. Then he heard a footstep, it sounded heavy and solid. Then another. And another. Until a vague shape began to appear in the gloom. It was humanoid, yet there was something strange about it.

"Does it have two heads?" Devan thought, his mind racing.

Into the dim light stepped a monstrous being. Its hands were the size of baseball gloves, and its blue skin almost seemed to shimmer in the light. An enormous belly protruded from its centre mass and two thick heads grew from its neck, their baleful faces split wide with evil grins.

"I'm the Ogre Magi!" The one head proclaimed with a shout.

"No, you are!" The other protested back.

Before Devan could say anything, one thick, meaty arm wrapped itself around and lifted him and the chair into the air. Devan started to feel his breath slipping away as the arm tightened around him.

"Pleased to meet ya!" Chortled the one head, while the other giggled.

Soon Devan had no breath left in his compressed lungs, he struggled and fought, yet he was held fast. Staring into the four baleful eyes in front of him, he heard them utter their spell.

"BLOOD. LUST!" The heads screamed.

Devan's vision swam and after a moment he felt himself suspended in mid air. The next moment he could feel his body beneath him. But as he looked down, he saw blue, meaty arms below him, and big blue toes attached to his legs.

He slowly turned to his right and saw truly what had become of him. There were the two other heads, winking and grinning at him in the gloom. Their eyes shining.

"You're with us now." They said in unison.

"Running's not as fun as hitting-" The heads said in unison, turning to him in anticipation.

Before Devan could even think, the words came to him, like a message from a higher power.

"Not one bit fun!" Devan said.