Stupid player and blame team Joke step!!! Go play mario okay

Hello Kayaba, my name is Jan, im 25 years old, i live in farmers village in Erangel. Everyone in my village has around 700 MMR, but my MMR is 1232, so as you can see im pretty skilled player! I want to invite you join my DOTA team to play in our local tournament. There will be more than 500 teams from all nearby villages, all games are best of 5. The grand prize is 2 bags of rice and a goat. Please help us win, friend!