happy birthday to the cutest native I know

Imagine Ben’s nasally voice reaching critical nasal threshold as he’s ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. He thrusts faster and faster, his voice grows louder but only in one frequency band. His wife is unamused, waiting for it stop. He is so close, his voice hits a resonant frequency and his wife’s ears begin to bleed. He ♥♥♥♥, a drop dribbles out of his tiny circumcised ♥♥♥♥. His wife goes to the bathroom to clean her bloody ears and bone dry vagina due to lack of stimulation. Ben lays exhausted on their California king bed, he looks like a toddler on this massive bed. Arms over his head, he feels like a champion.

This offends me as a vegan transgender hipster Native-American-Indo-Chinese hybrid alien agnostic-atheist German engineer who vapes fairtrade organic decaffeinated compressed and hydrated extra-protein soy milk on the regular and does Hindi Kama Sutra naked crossfit yoga 5 times per week. I'm also a nonbinary trigender genderqueer male feminist and identify myself as a pastafarian pansexual genderfluid Apache helicopter dog of mega multi alpha beta gamma delta omega combo god of hyper death who's in a polygamous polyamorous relationship to the chihuahua which helped me cross the border of Mexico because it hates Donald Trump. My dog also walks me to the park on a leash and if you find that weird you're an ignorant arrogant homophobic gender-assuming globaphobic bloodthirsty gun-loving cisgender pansexual bestial sexist racist incestuous white-previlege misogynistic biased objectified privileged Nazi slave owner terrorist lesbian.

red man