I want to feel the cold, hard, metallic hands of my one true love caress my very being. That one is Pepsiman, the hero we clearly need, but not the one we deserve right now. Whenever you need him, he'll be there, ready to ram his Pepsi can right into your hand.

The point I'm trying to get to is- I want someone to be my Pepsiman. I want to be dominated by the Pepsi overlord, and treated like Coca-Cola drinking scum; I want to be filled with the God's Nectar: Pepsi. I hope one of you can fill this monumental task.