i have sold my pc and all my belongings to aquire a 10 year old laptop with which I can steal wifi from my local mcdonalds where i work to can post this

i live in the forest near my town and survive off of drinking blue antifreeze (mana) and consuming homeless people (hp). no one really notices if they're gone so it works so far. i have grown out my beard and use spray cans to keep my skin blue.

i sleep during my shift so i can be active at night.

i use the money i earn to buy gasoline,balloon packs and matches and i have also recently aquired a double barrel shotgun and a few shells for it. ryze has also told me how to find world runes (fragmentation grenades)

i practice my combos and read from the scroll i carry on my back everywhere (the quran) during the night. im getting pretty good at them. once im ready, i can quit my job and finalise the plan

my EQ combo is easy to perform. first, i throw my E (a balloon filled with gasoline) at my target, after which i throw my Q (a lit match). i also performed a perfect EW combo recently by throwing my E and then using my W (shooting them in the kneecaps). this combo does indeed make them unable to move for a few seconds but it has a longer cooldown than my EQ combo.

i have also learned how to perform realm warp. if you can take enough mind altering substances (black tar herion and meth) at once, you will indeed warp from one place to another without remembering much inbetween.

im almost ready. all i need to do now is wait for ryze to reveal himself to me. i pray to him every night.

my scroll says he will not appear to me as long as his winrate is over 30%

until then, i have tracked down riot's headquarters. at night, every friday and wednesday, i chase riot employees. on mondays and thursdays, i study their work schedules and infiltrate their workplace to learn all the possible escape routes.

once he gives me his blessing, i will realm warp to riot hq and realise his glorious plan





Credits to u/thrxwaway9