Recent reviews by Homeboy

Total War Community

When you get passed all the mechanics and you know how to make things do what you want this game is black hole. Don't play it. My dead lift, squat, and bench went straight in the toilet. Not that you'll need to worry about that, you loser. I'm like 6'3. Basically Karl Franz but with a Lexus. The voice acting in this game is memorable and what surprised me was how much I enjoy building my settlements in accordance to how I see the enemy factions coming for me. See that? "In accordance." You probably thought I was just another average pipe swinging alpha chad but you were wrong. You're always wrong. And you have tiny pants. I think a lot of factions make up for how underwhelming their units are by making certain capital features exclusive to the faction broken and enjoyable. I totally didn't lie about all that stuff I said about me earlier. Forreal. What I thought I wouldn't like was that you need total war 1 to play 2 but when you end up liking the game you'll want to play it anyways. XOXO

The alpha for this game is probably the most unpolished release i have ever seen before, but this game is so incredible that my friends and i have not been able to put it down. We are happy that the full game wont come out until a year from now, only because we have that long to get our lives together before this game ruins them. My posture at my computer has never been so bad. I love this game so much.

I have over 120 hours and still dont know what the hell is going on. ♥♥♥♥ ursa.

This game is for the criminally insane. Feel good that it is very likely that the many people you will come across in game who body you you could 100% take in real life. The amount of people who use hacks in casual is staggering. If you are looking for an easy way to make racist, annoying, only child friends this is the place for you. It's like reliving xbox live in 2010. Or like living in Idaho. I play with my former second highest level buddy and still lose. 10/10 pretty neat game.

The Forest. The most amazing looking game that hasn't even entered alpha stage yet. However, you have to expect mountains of lag and glitches that actually add to the horror of the game. The game is similar to rust, but rust makes me want to pull my hair out with a bunch of mouse traps attached to a sling shot so lets not talk about this game. So basically all we can tell from the story is that you and your balding son are flying delta air lines and then the plane gets chopped in two. For some reason your son is pretty chill with this cause he barley even freaks out that he is about to hit dirt at mach 2. You wake up to see some naked, buff, bald grey dude taking your son away. The natives are totally pissed that you crashed on their land I guess and attack you cause you are different. Bunch of haters. I love the game, only cause im so good at it. So the failsafe to awesome players like me is that there isnt a save option yet and eventually your game will bug out. This game will be the greatest indie game on the market once it adds multiplayer. The forest kicks ass and you should get it, ♥♥♥♥♥♥.

Space Engineers, or "The "HA HA my ship kicked the crap out of your ship" game." is like the future less hipster cousin of minecraft. You can drill for material like gold and other random stuff that are equally important. Build a base to dock your amazing ship you also made. Then you will more than likely either try to build something from starwars or star treck, download someone elses builds so you won't have to build it yourself, or try to create a mega super death cannon thing so everyone stops teasing you about how bad your new hair cut looks. Regardless, you will go through enough lag to give your computer a stroke. Although crashing a bigass ship into another equally large ship is "freggin sweet," it will more than likley kick you back to your desktop screen. It's like dropping acid and not knowing when it hits you until you blink and end up talking to your shoes because the color purple is being a ♥♥♥♥.... I've never done acid though, so who really can say right? Don't quote me. All in all it's actually pretty fun and it makes you want to figure out the physics of how a spaceship works in this game. If you are creative enough, this is your final frontier.

Chivalry: Medieval Warfare is the perfect example for a must have steam game. Much like my last relationship, for 25 bucks you will go through love, hate, laughter, rage, contemplation, and screaming all under 30 minutes. Unlike my last relationship, you will come back for more and more because this is true love. The game has no single player, but that is no problem because the multiplayer couldn't be more perfect. With a variety of game modes to choose from, four classes with a deverse choices of weapons to use as you rank up, and the feeling of immortality when you and your team rush head on screaming into battle. It's bonding like no other and with the DLC they release as well as the maps from steam workshop, you'll be wondering how you lived without it. The game can get a little frustrating at times, but it's just because a lone wolf will have trouble fighting an entire wolf pack. Keep that in mind. I rate Chivalry: Medieval Warfare 9/10.