Mark - "I'm gonna go take a nap in the lactation pod."

Cayden - "Imagine it's a comedy bit, but it's actually just data collection."

Mary - "What kind of animal would you want to bite? You ever just see one and think, I'd like to
sink my teeth into that."

Dr. WAM - "Like minds think alike."

Soils & Civs - "Trading paved the way to raiding."

Nick - "Neighbor just auto-corrected to Nay Bourgeois."
Zach - "I think that's the binomial nomenclature for a French horse."

Dee - "Would you like any of your rage music?"

Dodds - "In order for a scene to be picturesque, cows must be in groups of three."

Eppolito - "Paying full price tuition for online school is like buying light beer. You pay the same price for half the effect."

Legaux - "They didn't teach me about heavenly bodies like yours when I earned my merit badge."

Zach - “It’s not noon, but it’s close.”
Stokley Employee - “Then it’s not 12 yet. Being close only counts in horseshoes and with hand grenades.”

Colin - "When I get drunk I make horse noises."

Zach - "I'm not a patriot, I just hate insurgents."

Coleman - "Are you guys ready for the new set of Hungry Man trading cards?"

Gamer - "Dabbing backwards"
Cory - "gnibbad"
Felted has been banned due to Toxic Behavior

(DQ blizzard is labeled as "Upside Down Thick")
Zach - "That's what they called me in highschool."

Zach - "This will be the last voicemail you ever hear. Mark my words. Prepare to know pain."

Eli - "That's the most visually stimulating thing I've ever seen, and I pay for porn."

Zach - "'Is it safe?' and 'Will I do it?' are two completely different questions."

Walker - "I'm an acquired taste."

Walker - "What would happen if you tried to smoke a Slim Jim? Never mind, be right back. I'll let you know in a sec."

Zach - "I have fears, but I'm still deciding if this should be one of them."

Zach - "You're just jealous you don't have ambidextrous thumbs!"

Cory - "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for midgets."

Mark White - (After seeing 19 teenagers and an enthusiastic elderly woman dancing to Kidz Bop) "That's the first time I've been envious of Helen Keller."

Adam Ford - *In a very sarcastic voice* "Not today Satan."

Travis Greene - "Slap my face and call me dainty."

Alex - "I had a pet turtle as a kid, but then he ran away..."

Band - "You do not move, at attention. You do not blink, at attention. You do not breath, at attention. You do not think, at attention. You do not perform cellular functions, at attention."

Dr. Hebert - "I see biology standards."

Dakota - "Zach are you over here?"
Zach - "Huh? Oh, no but I should be."
Cory - "You guys would suck in an actual war."

Proverbs 23:8 - "You a hoe"

Zach - "Hey look, dorks!"