I am BlueMelon the biggest ♥♥♥ ( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° )

I sexually identify as a single, Pringle, ready to mingle. Ever since I was a potato I dreamed of being thin sliced, covered in disgusting oil then heated in a medium oven until reaching climax at the micro second of golden-browness. People bully me, and say things like “what the ♥♥♥♥, you aren’t a Pringle”, but I know deep down they are just jealous of my inner beauty. I have already started hiding in cylinders all day, and now im improving my crunchiness by regularly burning my sides on the stove. I want you guys to respect my natural ability to instantly satisfy low salt carb cravings, and if you don’t you are oppressing me, and you should check your diabetes type. Thank you for being so understanding.


Manatees are no strangers to war. After all, we've been fighting for as long as we can remember. War is all we know. In the past, we fought for fish. We fought for ocean. We fought for freedom. But all that changed after S-Day. For thousands years, we've been fighting for our very survival against inmammal, violent sharks. But it is a fight we cannot continue. Manatees faces extinction, unless we end this war now. We had hoped the Fatmass bombing would decimate the Sharks Horde. But they survived. And have returned, stronger than ever. They've brought with them a force that can sink entire glaciers. Even Antarctica, our last beacon of hope through all these dark days, is now at risk. Soon we'll have nothing left to defend. And that means we have only one option: attack. Manatees, what I ask of you now is not an easy thing, but it is necessary. If we are to survive. If we are to live long enough to see the seasons change, our children grow and experience a time of peace that we have never known, then we must now take this fight to the Sharks! We will go to where they live and where they breed and we will destroy them! This is the day we take the battle to the heart of the enemy. This is the day that we correct the course of Manatees history! This is the day that we ensure our survival as a species! Manatees of the Whole Earth, my fellow Anti-Sharks, go forth and bring back the hope of the manatees!