No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a bad-ass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defanged me. Now I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth.
No, not the hair! Never the hair!
Say no more. Evil's still afoot... and I'm almost out of that Nancy-boy hair gel that I like so much. Quickly, to the Angel-mobile — AWAY!