A few years back, my friends and I were at a baseball game eating hotdogs and drinking beer. By the fifth inning, I was pretty intoxicated. So drunk in fact, I hadn’t noticed my buddy Cade surreptitiously taking my hotdog out of its bun and slipping his bulbous penis into its place.

Of course, when I bit into it, not only was I on the jumbotron, but I was too inebriated to tell it was Cade’s fat ♥♥♥♥ and kept gnawing on it like a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ chew toy while the entire stadium laughed.

Not a day goes by where I don’t get down on my knees and thank God for blessing me with the friends I have.

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