Recent reviews by Stressed(0)ut

I dont know why im lagging playing this game

This game is like Indiana Jones meets the Scooby-Doo gang on a wild, supernatural safari adventure! I mean, who knew mummies, zombies, and giant scorpions were hanging out in the same evil cult club? Would better if you play with friends like Shaggy, Daphne and Velma.

Dota Underlords, where my questionable decision-making skills meet their match and have an absolute blast doing it! If you've ever thought, "I wish there was a game that rewarded my random choices," then this is it.

The game's strategy is like trying to organize a chaos convention - it's beautifully chaotic! You'll find yourself buying and selling heroes faster than a Black Friday sale, hoping that somehow, your weird team of misfits will become unstoppable.

The battles are like a comedy show gone rogue. You'll watch your heroes attack the air, the ground, and occasionally the enemy. It's like a toddler's birthday party where everyone's running around, and no one really knows what's happening, but it's ridiculously entertaining.

The randomness is where the real fun lies. You'll plan a grand strategy, and then RNGesus (Random Number Generator Jesus) will decide that you should have 10 copies of the same hero instead. Suddenly, your army of penguins is taking on dragons, and it's the most epic showdown since the invention of medieval cook-offs.

The chat function? It's like a support group for people who've just lost to a pack of dancing pandas. You'll either find someone commiserating with you or engaging in a philosophical debate about the meaning of life because, really, who knows what's happening in this game?

In conclusion, Dota Underlords is the strategy game that doesn't take itself too seriously. It's like the game developer said, "Let's throw in some chaos, a pinch of strategy, and a lot of fun!" If you want a game that rewards your randomness and makes you laugh at your own questionable choices, this is the one.

Middle-earth: Shadow of War - Where Orc-Slaying Is My Full-Time Job, and I Love It!

This game is like that job you never knew you wanted - becoming a professional Orc-slayer! Forget about resumes and interviews; you're armed with swords and bad puns, ready to conquer Mordor.

The game's protagonist, Talion, has one mission: making orcs extinct, one snarky comment at a time. He's like a grumpy gardener, but instead of pruning roses, he's pruning the orc population. He's got a lot of issues with these guys, and he's not afraid to share his feelings. "Nice helmet, did you make it yourself?" - a classic Talion roast.

Speaking of orcs, they have personalities as varied as a bag of mixed nuts. Some will threaten you with bodily harm; others will offer you career advice. It's like being in a job interview with a particularly aggressive HR department.

Then there's the Nemesis System. It's like a soap opera, but with more decapitations. Orcs remember every time you hurt them, and they come back stronger, angrier, and even more determined to make you their personal chew toy. It's like playing a never-ending game of Whack-a-Mole, but the moles are seven feet tall and want to disembowel you.

Don't even get me started on the wildlife. Caragors, graugs, and drakes - oh my! The animal kingdom in Middle-earth is like a mythical zoo gone rogue. You'll ride these beasts into battle, and when you're done, you'll feel like you've just auditioned for a 'Lord of the Rings' remake of 'Jumanji.'

In conclusion, Middle-earth: Shadow of War is an epic journey filled with humor, chaos, and more orc-gore than you can shake a sword at. It's like a rollercoaster ride through Tolkien's wildest dreams, and you're the fearless conductor. So, grab your sword, prepare some clever comebacks, and get ready to slay, laugh, and conquer Mordor, one orc at a time!

Need for Speed Heat, oh boy! It's like a never-ending game of 'let's see how many traffic laws we can break in one minute.' Spoiler alert: you'll break them all and still have a blast!

You'll find yourself cruising through the fictional city of Palm City like you own the place. And trust me, in your souped-up ride, you'll feel like you're driving a rocket-powered blender on wheels. Pedestrians might as well carry parachutes because the sidewalks are not safe!

The game's cops, well, they're on a mission to ruin your day. They'll chase you like you've stolen their donuts, and they'll never give up. But hey, it's all part of the fun. The more stars you have, the angrier they get, and the harder they chase you. It's like you're starring in your own action movie, except you're the bad guy.

Now, let's talk customization. You can pimp your ride to the point where it's barely recognizable as a car anymore. Neon lights? Check. Spoilers taller than a giraffe? Check. A paint job so bright it could blind an astronaut? Check! You're basically driving a disco ball on wheels.

And then there's the music. The soundtrack is so epic; it makes even the shortest drive to the gas station feel like a high-speed chase from the mafia. You'll be bobbing your head so hard you'll look like a pigeon with a neck problem.

In short, Need for Speed Heat is like that wild, rebellious friend who always gets you into trouble but ensures you have the time of your life doing it. Just remember to buckle up because in this game, seatbelts are optional, but fun is guaranteed!

Apex Legends: Where My Aim and My Hopes Go to Die, But I Still Can't Stop Playing

I have a love-hate relationship with Apex Legends. It's like that rollercoaster that terrifies you, but you keep getting back in line for one more ride because, well, you're convinced this time you won't scream like a banshee (spoiler alert: you will).

The game's characters are diverse and exciting, but let's be real - the real star of the show is the floor. It's where I spend most of my time. No, not looting; I'm talking about crawling around like a wounded crab, hoping my teammates will rescue me and not turn me into target practice for every squad within a 10-mile radius.

The ping system is genius. You can communicate with your team without saying a word. You can also communicate with your team without saying a word. Did I mention how random teammates can make you feel like you're in a wildlife documentary? Some will adopt you as their cub and protect you fiercely, while others will see you as a distraction to throw at predators.

And don't get me started on the loot. Finding a gold backpack is like discovering a unicorn in your garage. You can't ride it, but it's cool to have.

In summary, Apex Legends is a game where I die a lot but keep coming back for more punishment. It's the gaming equivalent of eating spicy food; it hurts, but the thrill keeps you addicted. So, if you're looking for a game that will make you laugh, cry, and scream in frustration (often all in the same match), Apex Legends is your ticket to the emotional roller coaster of a lifetime.

New player? Welcome to the void!

Ah, Dota 2, the game that has successfully managed to alienate my friends, family, and anyone who ever considered me a responsible adult. If you're thinking about playing it, be prepared to say goodbye to your social life, hygiene, and maybe even your sanity.

First off, the learning curve is steeper than Mount Everest. Trying to understand Dota 2 is like attempting brain surgery with a spoon; it's painful, confusing, and people are screaming at you the whole time. You'll spend more hours on YouTube tutorials than you will on actual gameplay, and by the end, you'll still be terrible.

Now, let's talk about the player base. Dota 2 players make the Greek gods look humble. You'll be teamed up with folks who think they're the reincarnation of Sun Tzu, and they're not afraid to let you know it. Prepare to receive more abuse than a piñata at a birthday party.

The matches are longer than the extended version of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. You'll start playing in the morning, and by the time you're done, it's the next day, and you've missed work, school, and your own birthday party.

And the graphics? Let's just say that if I wanted to watch pixels, I'd stare at an old TV with no signal. Dota 2's visuals have aged like milk left out in the sun.

In conclusion, Dota 2 is a black hole that sucks in your time, your dignity, and your happiness. It's like willingly signing up for a never-ending nightmare. But hey, if you've ever wanted to experience what it's like to be in a toxic relationship with a video game, this is your chance