His charm is so contagious, vaccines have been made for it. He is the only man to have ever aced a Rorschach test. Alien abductors have asked him to probe them. If he was to give you directions, you'd never get lost. And you'd arrive five minutes early. If he were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there. When it is raining, it is because he is thinking about something sad. He once punched a magician. That's right. You heard me. His blood smells like perfume. His hands feel like rich brown suede. He once lived in the hills for a summer in the Serengeti after being gifted a wife from the local tribes leaders. He once taught a horse how to make chili. The police often question him just because they find him interesting, His personality is so magnetic, he is unable to carry credit cards.

Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact number. He never says anything tastes like chicken; not even chicken. He's been known to cure narcolepsy just by walking in the room. He's a lover, not a fighter. But he is also a fighter, so don't get any ideas. People hang on his every word, even the prepositions. He could disarm you with his looks. Or his hands. Either way. He can speak French in Russian. His reputation is expanding faster than the universe. He once had an awkward moment just to see how it feels. There is a time and a place for him. The time is always. You can figure out the place on your own.

NERD

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