When you die, God gives you $14.50 cents for every day you were alive. Then you have to pay for your sins, in cash. Maybe when you were a little kid, you stole a bag of potato chips? That might be a 6 dollar fine. Lying, everytime you lie, 10 dollars. 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10. Just sell it out, every single lie's 10 dollars, you know, 10. Murder? Murder that's the worst one. 100,000 dollars. Masturbation......... I don't know.................................................... 25, 35 cents would be my guess............ That's a cheap sin....... But it can mount up over a period times......... 35, 35, 35, 35, 35, 35

- Father Guido Sarducci