This world revolves around two views on the same thing. In addition, it's about laughable miseries.








You did not want to wake up.

You did not want to open your eyes and see the world move forward without you; you did not want to wake up and see the world spin around and around without waiting for you to catch up, without waiting for you to move with it.

And so you spent your day lying on your bed, your eyes open but unblinking. Your bed was unmade, and so was your body. Your arms were on your sides, still and unmoving. Your mouth was open in a silent scream, as though you were conquering a force you couldn’t quite fight, as though you were experiencing a daytime nightmare you couldn’t quite wake up from.

And perhaps, in a way, you were indeed facing a nightmare.

The dreadful feeling was back—the feeling of self-hatred, loneliness, sadness, and melancholy. It was as though they were waiting for you all along; it was as though they were already ready to swallow you whole the minute you began to crumble and fall apart.

It was as though your heart were the anchor weighing you down; it was as though your body were the weight you could not lift. Everything was heavy and dreary; everything was bleary and dark.

It was as though there were a storm inside of you, wrecking everything within you: each and every single one of your functioning nerves, each and every one of your working system.

It felt as though an abysmal darkness had swallowed you whole, along with the smallest hope and happiness. You could not move; you could not do anything no matter how much you wished you could. You could not function at all—you could not even stand up from your bed, could not even sit up from your bed. You could not even wake up—no, scratch that. You did not want to wake up.

It felt as though there was a gaping hole within you, swallowing everything that you had found valuable and leaving you with nothing but a black soul and an empty, hungry being, ready to devour the things you held most dear.

It felt like that the gaping hole inside your chest had swallowed your motivation, along the little smiles and laughs you have had over the past few weeks. It felt like they had hands and they were pushing you down on the water too deep you couldn’t find it within you to even escape.

"Even if I am to carry all the evils of this world, it won't matter. If that can save the world, then I'd gladly accept it."