Recent reviews by Alpacalypse

Zero respect for your time. Unskippable cutscenes, multiple second long animations on every single action, ten second stun effects applied by the majority of all attacks and a "hunting" experience focused around hoping you bump into the small line of clues that will actually spawn the monster into the world. All this for the monster to decide to instantly run away to the opposite side of the map after no more than a minute of fighting. Not even the combat escapes from the slog - your weapon will become fully dull potentially dozens of times per fight, forcing everything to an abrupt halt while you sit in a corner smacking your sword until it works again every thirty seconds.

It's all the worst parts of Evolve and Dauntless mashed into a janky mess which explains very little and is rarely even correct in its own explanations - the claw attack meant to reposition a monster that you're climbing almost never does anything, as an example. And then it's all centered around a core gear upgrade mechanic that means very little, because all of your upgrades just make your numbers higher at a somewhat even pace with the natural increases in the enemies' numbers, as though it were some ♥♥♥♥♥♥ half-baked MMO.

Genuinely the worst experience I've had with any game in its genre, ever. Catastrophically bad, utterly wasteful of every single second invested into it. Every single mission resulted in a net negative enjoyment value. Even when the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ stars align and things start to get just a little engaging, you can ALWAYS be killed in one hit because attacks will sometimes apply the same instance of damage multiple times. It's pathetic.

Unplayable on PC. Input delay that can be measured in human lifetimes is probably the single worst thing that could exist in a souls clone. The game routinely ignores inputs for entire seconds at a time, even when absolutely nothing is being done that could otherwise occupy your character. For example: There is a very solid chance that pressing the heavy attack button versus an idle boss/enemy does absolutely nothing for long enough that the enemy has already started an attack, only to lock you into the uncancelable heavy you pressed four seconds previously.
Just pathetic.

Absolutely pathetic amount of content for a full priced game. You get a 6 hour campaign, a PVP mode with three maps, and a co-op mode with six 30-minute missions. Progression in co-op and PVP is incredibly bare bones, having already started to centralize around a very small pool of viable options for high difficulties. Performance is bad, with lower frame rate averages regardless of hardware than just about every other game on the market. Load times are absurd, doubly so given that coop matches cannot be played with copies of the same player class, but the game has no stopgap against continually loading you into lobbies with the same class already taken. This forces constant alt-f4s to turn matchmaking back on or to escape the relatively frequent infinite loading screens.

All of that might be okay, were the game itself not an absolute slog as well. Ranged combat is horrid due to low player damage values, with most weapons requiring (without exaggeration) 25% of your total ammo pool to kill a single majoris-threat enemy - the second most common type. This problem also affects melee combat at higher difficulties, with that same majoris enemy requiring up to 10 seconds of constant swinging to die. You'll be fighting 4-8 of these at once, along with dozens of horde units.
Conversely, player health is essentially paper. A single attack from any trash mob is guaranteed to destroy between 33-66% of your armor (renewable health essentially), with anything larger usually doing half of your actual health on top.
The only methods of damage mitigation are the Dark Souls Dodge Roll that's in every single ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ video game made after 2010, or the stupidly designed blocking system. Whether an attack is a useless block or an actually effective parry is purely determined purely by RNG, unless the player uses a fencing type weapon - further constraining build variety to a very small pool of melee weapon subtypes.

The power fantasy the game is going for is completely nonexistent; we're told that the characters are overwhelmingly powerful avatars of slaughter, and they're visually built like walking tanks, but they play like pirouetting gymnasts who roll around twice per second and flail uselessly at enemies whose health bars eclipse theirs by orders of magnitude. It's confounding.
Just play Darktide. The regular human beings you play in that game are overwhelmingly superior in all aspects of combat versus the centuries-old war gods that the space marines are stated to be here. It runs better, costs less, has more content, and just feels better to play across the board - even though it's nowhere near perfect. Space Marine 2 needed another 6 months of development at bare minimum.

Only a 50% chance you'll even be able to play the game on bootup. "account not entitled to game" bug locks you out of loading the game entirely, has no known permanent fix, has been known by the developers since the PC edition's launch and has not been addressed whatsoever. Game is full of bugs otherwise, it's incredibly easy to get stuck, frozen in a scene/dialogue or otherwise locked out of content. Save system doesn't really work either - the moment a random event begins, there is no way to restart it. If you complete it, or load a save made after it started, it will be permanently concluded.

My opinion of this game has only gotten worse in the months since its release. Truly horrific balance decisions constrict your available options more after every patch by consistently annihilating the usability of specific weapons/stratagems, seemingly without regard for their actual performance in the game. Arrowhead makes possibly the most arbitrary balance decisions of any game studio I have ever seen, without an ounce of hyperbole.
For reference, the most recent warbond is themed around fire. It was packaged with one of the most profound nerfs in the game's history, by removing the ability of fire from all sources to penetrate armor (THE most important capability at high difficulty), and removing flamethrowers' ability to damage more than one enemy at a time. This very significant adjustment was hidden within two vaguely worded bullet points stuck into the middle of the misc. fixes section of the patch notes.
Astounding.

One new problem which has presented itself is the way in which new premium content is added. A strong majority of all new content comes from the bimonthy or so premium warbonds (battlepasses), each of which requires 1000 units of premium currency. On average, a 30 minute mission rewards 10 points, 20 if you're lucky. That's anywhere from 50 to 100 thirty-minute missions to unlock one of the currently six warbonds, meaning it takes an average of 2,250 minutes - almost 40 hours - to unlock one. Accounting for the 300 points contained in each pass, that's 30 hours per warbond, times six. For an average player, they'll be added at a rate far exceeding your ability to laboriously earn them, leaving most new content completely unavailable. All this just for any/all of the weapons from the warbond to be nerfed down to a state of near unusability within a few weeks - that's the real kicker.

At this point, I'd strongly recommend looking for other games in the genre (Deep Rock Galactic). The game's performance degrades with every patch - my average frame rate is nearly half of what it was at launch. Myopic balance decisions actually reduce the amount of viable options available over time instead of increasing it. Most bugs go unfixed for months as the majority of developer effort is directed into nerfing player capabilities. It's just not fun anymore.

Enter the Stun-geon

there is hat without brim

edit: you can attach brim to it if you want

Everything is blurry all the time. An advertisement for eye surgery, not a game.

Too reliant on luck, dying on the first or second night in the majority of games isn't fun.

Reinstall the game, find out it's still laggier than flash games from 2004, uninstall again
Repeat every 3 months