I'm just out of jail, where I earned several degrees in nuclear and quantum physics, I have started up a business engraving Shakespeare's monologues onto acorns. In my spare time I move clouds, and collect horse hair and sealing wax. I have a pet kangaroo and a housebroken tree that live with me. I'm head of a group that is in the final planning stages to move the Rockies from Canada to Holland, as the Dutch denizens deserve a place to climb, ski and snowboard. One day I hope to fulfill my dream of amassing the world's largest collection of monochromatic photographs of potato eyes, shot under water.I have stolen princesses back from sleeping barrow kings. I burned down the town of Trebon. I have spent the night with Felurian and left with both my sanity and my life. I was expelled from University at a younger age than most people are allowed in. I tread paths by moonlight that others fear to speak of during day. I have talked to gods, loved women, and written songs that make the minstrels weep.

You may have heard of me.