Recent reviews by CptCook

Beautiful. Disgusting.

A perfect cancer simulator. Must play.

Ayo after 15 hours of grinding and sweating to get that arena master achievement, i got killed by 3 thugs in a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ alleyway in the slums of the city. great game.

This game increased my IQ considerably. I can watch Rick and Morty now.

It was an awesome game during early access, it is even more awesome now with the full launch! This is a must play game for every survival type gamer out there. Recommended 10/10.

>Four chumps survive a massive plane crash, badass.

>Soon as they leave the plane unscathed, they start walkin around looting ♥♥♥♥ like they already own the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ place.

>Shortly after, they encounter a wild native of the island, they exchange looks, some bantering occurs then those four mean ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ suddenly decide to casually murder the native with axes and chop him up into 6 pieces, on the spot.

>More walking, they find a kewl beach with a dope yacht moored a bit off the shore, they start swimming to the yacht, some piss poor shark decides to nibble one of them hardass blokes, shark dead.

>They find a photo of a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up spider women with a gigantic vagina, they laugh, one of them beats his meat to the photo, they leave yacht.

>After a few nights of spending time murdering random living beings, human or animal, they find out that they can make armor out of the bones of the natives whom they kill regularly on a daily basis before their morning breakfasts. Such breakthrough.

>After another week of raping, pillaging and basically doing whatever the ♥♥♥♥ they want to do on that island like the warmongering boss-men they are, the fantastic four decide to explore some random cave they find on the ground.

>As they climb down the rope with spears, arrows, torches, axes, chainsaws and katanas at their disposal and ready to go on a murderous rampage of casual decapitation, the spider-women with the bigass vagina along with his 8 armed husband pops up and ruins the day.

>Panic. Babies. Cries.

>The 4 men never leave that cave ever again...

10/10 would again throw molotovs at faceless babies while hysterically laughing at mates getting devoured by the spider-women.

You know your life is complete when you are hysterically laughing over your microphone when one of your teammates is dead, one of them is clinging for his life on the edge of a rooftop, one of them is being pounded like a little ♥♥♥♥♥ by a Charger and you are just sitting in the safe room using up all the med-kits. Good times.

Show me one person who havent cried like a little ♥♥♥♥♥ at the final episode and I will show you one person without a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ soul.

All you had to do, was follow the damn train CJ...

Single player is fantastic that's for damn sure. The hot topic about this game however, is its online mode. There are hackers, modders or any kinds of people looking to ruin your game experience. (Some modders are actually nice people, they are excluded). To top that, it appears Rockstar's automated ban system is flawed as ♥♥♥♥. People getting banned for no reason and whatnot. Anyway, that does not mean that online mode is complete crap. If you have a friend (preferrably 3), you can have TONS of fun playing in private sessions and heists and races and whatever. Just dont play in public sessions and you will be fine, no bans, nothing. Just play at your own risk if you wanna play in public sessions. Rockstar is bad, hostile hackers and modders are bad but the game is GOOD.