Recent reviews by Madre Fuchre

I'm sorry game devs, I'm sure you poured your life and soul into this but I've never played a more unsauced game before. The character creation menu immediately drained me of all zaza and left me feeling empty.

(Actual review pending, just updating this since Sony changed their mind)

Game works now as of the latest update. Still not a fan of EAC, but atleast I can play this amazing game again.

Old review just in case Tim Sweeney breaks the game again.

((Easy-Anti-Cheat has rendered this game unplayable.
I don't mean performance wise or some other form of hyperbole, I mean I literally cannot play the game anymore because Easy-Anti-Cheat pops an error 15 and refuses to start. I could start without online, but having to do that because some other company that didn't work on the game broke it for me is stupid.
This isn't a true thumbs down review, I love this game and probably wouldn't be making this otherwise but EAC no longer has a support section and information concerning fixing EAC is years old and scattered across various game forums and nothing I've tried seems to work.

Thank you EAC for finally becoming the very worst you could've possibly become.))

Oh my god, you like, aren't already playing Vampire Survivors. Like, what's your problem?

The game basically lets you play any board game you want for free, but someone got banned from global chat because they shared TMI about their sexual identity therefore the game must be review bombed.

Final Fantasy 14: The world's most okay MMO.

I'm a man whose played many MMOs, many ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ones, many some people consider good for one reason or another. Final Fantasy 14 is a strange game, even for an MMO, by many metrics it's very run of the mill but in others it excels. Why do I think this very okay game has done as well as it has, I can do a quick breakdown why.

• Music: The objectively best part of this game is the soundtrack. I immediately know if someone is being objective in their criticism of the game if they ♥♥♥♥ talk this amazing soundtrack. "hurr but subjectivity!!!!" ♥♥♥♥ off idiot, this music bops and if you don't agree I'm afraid you're less than human. That's all I can really say, I can get all flowery and talk about the amazing cascade of sound that is some of the boss themes, but I'm afraid I'm not familiar enough with the musical nerds to even attempt embarrassing myself at it. Just look up the themes on YouTube if you doubt me.
  
  
• Story: FF14 has a decent story. Everyone I know who plays loves the story. Here's where I become a contrarian. I really do not care about the story. Yeah this is gonna cost me credibility with some people reading this but I just cannot bring myself to care. The story is presented as if it's a single player story, and I cannot bring myself to care about this "warrior of light!" ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. I think the fact that there are actually multiple is mentioned, but it's ultimately meaningless if you're also the best friend of the Scions! and also the only Warrior of Light anyone cares to talk about. Chosen one narratives in MMOs are a tired subject, but it was overdiscussed for a reason, it's disengaging if we're told how special we are only for Rickbaggins69 to come up to us and hand us 69 golden fish for being a cute bunny, and then ride away on his super cool mount. Star Wars The Old Republic is objectively worse as a game but when it comes to story telling in a multiplayer setting it blows FF14 out of the water, by just acknowledging your party, and giving you SOME interactivity with the story being told, I hate the story being told, but I like how it's told so I actually pay attention to the ♥♥♥♥♥♥ story.
  
  
• Gameplay: I imagine this is going to be the topic I receive the least pushback on, but the gameplay is nothing to write home about, it's your typical tab-targetting affair. While the game has a healthy class variety, there is no variety at all within those classes. Everyone who mains a class plays about the same way, the only difference is who remembers to use their archetypes buffs regularly or not. I have to give it to WoW in this regard for having class kits.
  
  There's also the leveling experience, and FF14's is the most infamous in this regard. You have to do the MSQ it is not optional. Yeah the story is good but even the most ardent fans are not fans of the huge amount of content that was added after ARR, just to get to Heavensward. The game with the best leveling experience I've ever seen was Guild Wars 2, while I couldn't for the life of you tell you what the story was, I was engaged in leveling all the way from level 1 to max, the game holds your hand just tight enough as it guides you on a journey from your racial spawn, to the base game end area.
  
  PVP is a complete afterthought, dueling is not even a thing in this game, not that it matters as I said before every class plays pretty much the same way, all duels would prove is what class is better at fighting the other in a duel. PVP occurs exclusively in battlegrounds where teams run up, and tab target each other to death. I have no idea what the point of PVP is, because it's utterly pointless to begin with, and the obligatory comparison I have to make now is ESO. ESO is bad in many ways but the PVP experience blows FF14 out of the water. While I hate how ESO's choice of classes, the variety within those classes are extreme, and thus PVP content is both challenging and fun.

That's pretty much it for my main points, I was going to mention the community as one of them, but I thought it'd be weird to mention them when I'm talking about the game itself. So, I'm including them as part of the summation. Why do I recommend FF14 in spite of the fact that other games have done other things far better than it? The community. The community isn't particularly better than other games, hell in ESO some random guy gave me a bunch of ♥♥♥♥ upon logging into the game and invited me into his guild, and I had to heartlessly ghost him because I could not stand the game; meanwhile FF14's novice help channel is full of people whining about WoW refugees, but that's the reason why, these are people, real human beings that you can interact with. People you can become friends with, people to hate and want to one up, there are people here playing this game, and that's literally the only reason why I'm playing this and not GW2 because my friends will not give any other game a chance because "durr i dont play mmos" well congratulations you got sucked into the most cookie cutter MMO in existence. You know who you are. Good night.

I let it out.

They're adding giant gunships.

GUN.
SHIPS.

A bit of context first since the first thing anyone coming across this review will notice is the playtime, I played this game before on BYOND and was a lifetime subscriber, I had hopes of being able to start a private server for my friends, however as of the transition to Pay to Play this is no longer possible.

Azusa online is a strange, strange game, for those who've never even heard of BYOND or anything outside of SS13, Azusa Online is a heavy roleplaying game, rules against metagaming (using knowledge your character shouldn't posses ) and powergaming (Doing things your character wouldn't or shouldn't purely to become more powerful.) are strictly enforced with plenty of other rules in order to create an environment that hopefully encourages healthy roleplaying. Azusa heavily relies upon it's Admin team for duties beyond just moderation, they create custom dungeons, bosses, nake new gods for the game, host events for players, dole out Roleplay points, and manage various other player requests.

Azusa has a pantheon of gods straight from the Greek pantheon, though with an original story for them. Humans can become embued with mystical armor to allow them to fight supernatural threats that threaten the land of Azusa (I'm not sure if the land is some place called Azusa or not, the main play area isn't really named, at first I assumed it was Greece.) These Humans however are not the only champions the gods can call upon, with Angels, Lemurians, Kappas and even Demons being able to join the battle.

Players can become gods themselves and wield power the humans can barely hope to match, often being so powerful that only other gods and groups of super powerful humans can hope to take them down.

This is what I loved about the game at first, however after a hundred hours of playing, the problems reveal themselves. The first and most obvious problem, the Gods. The Gods aren't too annoying when there's a decently sized playerbase like what the game seems to have right now, however when there are maybe 10 players online during peak hours like when I played, trying to fight the Gods is a hopeless endeavor, battles devolve to Humans on the sidelines slapping each other while their respective gods duke it out in an actual battle nearby. The god that wins decides the entire battle, that's how wide the power balance is. I've personally never seen humans defeat a god, but apparently it happens? The last time a "Battle" occured in the game Hades' army led by Pandora invaded Olympo (Or whatever the game calls Olympus) and were winning up until Zeus arrived in a spectral form and demolished Hades' forces. The worst situation I've ever seen was when there were 3 or 4 gods running around with 8 players online, and one of them was so weak compared to the others he had no choice but to hang out in the nearby Dojo, it was Ares. The war god. The war god was so irrelevent to the older gods he had no choice but to grind 24/7. What the ♥♥♥♥.

For roleplaying in the game, you're rewarded with roleplay points, healthy and condusive ro roleplaying right? Wrong. I have no idea why every other roleplaying game on BYOND is so retarded to think that somehow roleplaying by yourself and mechanical training are any different. The former will get you praised, the latter will get you mocked (or worse, banned). While it's great they're trying to remove AFK training methods, the idea that someone going off by themself and typing out how they're totally training by themself is somehow more valid than someone that actually mechanically does this is insane. Grinding for roleplay points is powergaming, and even encourages it, I've seen characters who were calm and passive, throw themselves into a violent frenzy in order to involve themselves in an event and get roleplay points.

Though honestly, roleplay points is a small issue, compared to how grindy this game is, unless you have 2/3rds of your day free you'll never get to be a top tier player. They'll mock someone for coming in with this attitude, but the people who play this game are full of ♥♥♥♥, asking you to accept your a background character while getting massive boosts from having played the game for a long time. (Currently this isn't an issue, but should the generation system continue as is, there will be people walking around with 25 stat modifiers as opposed to the 10 new players start out with.) Most people play games in order to get good at it, while there are able to enjoy just being that guy who runs a farm, that's practically suicide in a game where Reapers will inevitably show up and murder everyone and everything in sight.

Oh yeah, Reapers. Reapers are zombie servants of Hades who have much lower standards for killing then other players are allowed, and they're annoying to deal with, they're immortal and dying only respawns them in the underworld, and when they eventually kill someone strong, that person becomes a reaper, anyone who dies is at risk of becoming a reaper unless they willingly pass on (Which requires them to be 80 years old.). So yeah new players that are going to ignore most of my post, prepare yourselves for the one thing that has caused most people that played this game to rage quit.

My final solid point I want to make is that this game shouldn't have been $19. This style of game is untried outside of BYOND, and expecting people to pay so much money for an online only game with 16,000 rules ran by admins that can instantly invalidate their purchase considering there are currently only 3 servers was a terrible idea, potential new players have no way of testing the waters before fully commiting, which is terrible. (For those still interested in playing Azusa but don't want to pay, look up Spires of Agartha, while it's not my cup of tea it's rather similar to Azusa in many regards, but most importantly it's FREE. Don't expect either game to have a decent playerbase however.) I was expecting to be able to use the lifetime subscription I acquired so long ago to host a private server for my friends, away from the insanity on the main servers, but now I'll never be able to do that because my friends will never pay money to play some BYOND game they've no faith in. Thanks. Honestly this is my main point of contention, I could ignore and live with every other issue and recommend if the game was free, but now the game is on an even steeper death spiral than it was on before.

Every thing from here on you should take with a grain of salt, this is just my personal experiences with the community at large, and you can experience that for yourself and come away with a different take.

The current head admin was caught abusing their position and was removed. For god knows what reason they're in charge again, I assume they pleaded up and down that they would never do it again, whatever. The community for this game is incredibly awful. The "veterans" pretty much take each other's sides in player issues whenever possible, if you're new then your opinion isn't valid, you're a new guy. They won't need an actual argument either, they just shoot down any complaints someone might have. You heard me right, not suggestions, but complaints, if you have a problem with the game it's YOUR fault. Soon after the current head admin was removed, there was another admin who was apparently around briefly (I was avoiding the game at the time due to the insanity of the playerbase.) and actually punished a veteran for abusing a bug, and had the players at large turn against him because he dared punish someone they liked. The owner is alright, when I interacted with him directly without any of the "veterans" around he was alright, however the veterans will activley interject themselves into conversations that don't involve them when they are around and shoot you down, effectivley having created a bubble around him where all new player complaints are treated as "dumb n00bz cant rp/play!"

Also the game contains an overt refrence to SS, remove it.

First of all I have very little experience with the second game, this review is based mostly off the first game that is bundled with it, however the games have the same "field" mechanics based on what I have played of 2.

GOD EATER: RESSURECTION:

Hot damn, this game is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ garbage. It isn't the worst thing that exists but ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ is it boring. I bought these games because I wanted a MH (Monster Hunter)-like game for my PC or anything more comfortable to play on than my tiny 3DSXL with ♥♥♥♥♥♥ little screens that makes the game look pixelated as ♥♥♥♥. I knew about God Eater for a while and decided since it was on sale I'd give it a shot. Many of the reviews complained mostly about the network shich I don't mind, I prefer solo hunting. When one of the first cutscenes played showing every character holding big ass ♥♥♥ hueg weponz I knew I made a mistake.

Compared to MH, this game's weapon system is absolute ♥♥♥♥, whereas in MH you have to decide wheter you want to be a gunner or blademaster, and it's possible to take down any monster with either form and you get a wide array of choices within these groups (Blademaster much more so) with each weapon class being unique and having clearly different mechanics compared to others. In GE there are 5 or 6 melee weapon clasess and they are all exactly the same except swing speed and what type of damage it does (Piercing, Damage, and Crushing). Also your the new type, no you don't get a gundam you get to use gunz too!!!!! and yeah it's ♥♥♥♥. I'm not gonna go into newtype ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ because it's story related, but being able to use guns and melee weapons is very, very, lame, the gun doesn't do much more damage than the melee weapon until much later on and even then you NEED to melee because you shoot monster blood bullets, you can buy clips or whatever but still the whole system feels incredibly lame, and most of them time I just use the melee weapon. You can edit bullets which is the coolest thing about this game but that can't save this game from being horribly boring, if this was in something I could tolerate maybe I'd invest time into learning how this complicated system best works.

The story is generic anime ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. I don't care about any of these people, they all sound the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ same. I'm not asking for the pristine and supreme Nippon dub, because I still wouldn't care, if anything it would add another barrier. There is a Russian character that has the very same accent as every other character for no raisins, if she spoke Japanese I still wouldn't be able to tell if she was Russian beyond everyone telling me so and I'd be wondering why she spoke Japanese at all. Some dude dies or some ♥♥♥♥ and he's my officer or something but I don't give a ♥♥♥♥, I laughed only once at this game and it was at the autistic spaz you have as a classmate.

Why. Is. There. No. Armor.
This might be the only part of the review I regret because it might evantually show up, but the fact it 1. Isn't present in the early part of 1 at all 2. Isn't anywhere to be found in the beginning of 2 is a serious ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ problem. The most important part of the MH formula is preparing for the hunt and armor should play a big role in that but instead armor is sacrificed so you can dress up your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ waifu, proving that waifus are ♥♥♥♥ and ruin games. I know there is a defense that you can raise, but armor can be so much more than a bland defense stat, armors in MH can provide immunities to environmental hazards and buffs to players whereas the clothes your player wears in this game does nothing.

y u compear too monsta huntah mistah, dis no monstah huntah?
This is a monster hunter clone straight up, if you are unfamiliar with MH trust me when I say this game rips off Capcom's masterpiece series turn after ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ turn, even the cover art for God Eater Burst for the PSP is identical to a MH cover. Monster Hunter is superior to this game in every way shape and form, except that this one is on PC, the reason I even bought a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 3DS was for MH. If MH ever ended up playable legally on American PCs will be the greatest day of my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ life. Until then I have to troll through the sea of ♥♥♥♥♥♥ clones hoping to catch a good enough alternative.

Last note:
If you for whatever reason want to play this game just play the second one, the graphics are better and you play a new character so anything that happened in the last game is through the lens of a new character so they don't expect you to know and understand everything that is happening. There aren't that many reviews that tell you about this I guess to avoid spoilers but it's not that big a spoil.

EDIT:
I ALMOST FORGOT TO MENTION THE FACT THIS GAME IS PISS EASY.
On top of the arenas being as big as one area in a MH map, the "boss" monsters offer no challenge whatsoever and are dispatched in about 10 minutes. You get dual boss fights at the second rank whereas in MH that usually doesn't happen until rank 4 or 5 and thats because the Devs realized their game offered no challenge to players so they ramped it up early only to make fights last longer, not better. I will never forget the attack patterns of the Rathian and the Rathalos because I've hunted those two so often and even then I still get hit by some pretty nasty attacks, enemies in this game have maybe 3 or 4 attacks and the patterns are easy to figure out in your first encounter and then forget, then relearn, then forget again, predictible enemies are not good.