9
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Recent reviews by Ploff

Showing 1-9 of 9 entries
No one has rated this review as helpful yet
1.1 hrs on record
The tutorial doesn't prepare you for the unfair skill ceiling of the game, which does not come from the mechanics, although they do play a massive part to it, but the PVP action itself. People simply kill everyone and do not try to be subtle, they simply open fire and the abilities do not activate instantly.

Despite the aesthetics, the music and overall charm, I do not recommend this game.
Posted 4 May, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
232.6 hrs on record (214.7 hrs at review time)
No, Mr/Mrs, [Insert Last Name] I expect you to fall in to a pool of sharks, frozen from freeze rays and confused from the disco.

You see, I do not want you to die. I want you to come back, infiltrate and sabotage my base and see how much more difficult it is to get through, and if you do not come back this time?

Then you clearly cannot stop me anyway, and my henchmen and minions were so looking forward to seeing you beaten, broken and humiliated again and again. It is like a nice holiday for them breaking the monotony of conquering the world while you recover.

I look forward to the next distraction the world forces send my way. I think I will get them to feed mutated piranha plant I recently bought with all the golden candy wrappers I stole from children's birthday parties.
Posted 24 December, 2022.
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1 person found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
41.6 hrs on record (40.3 hrs at review time)
I starved to death because I couldn't find a can opener, I lost my legendary weapon because I couldn't find a towel to wipe my greasy hands, I died because I put on a amulet that was a amulet of strangulation.

I've never died in such hilarious ways in any other game before.
Posted 18 September, 2022.
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1 person found this review helpful
331.2 hrs on record (112.7 hrs at review time)
Turns out the game is pretty enjoyable when you look cool from pressing buttons and most of the time you feel good too from winning by doing a cool move that you totally planned.

Then when you realize you want to get good, and do all that cool ♥♥♥♥ on purpose and style on your enemies with unrelenting force and skill, you need to find a guru willing to teach you because pressing buttons goes to such depths you break a diving suit or two from just seeing the first few "Proper moves." but I will give you this one for free.

You don't need to learn all the moves a character has to be good or have fun.
Posted 3 September, 2021.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
85.2 hrs on record (38.4 hrs at review time)
This game is genius at how to be EEEEVIL.

"You expect me to talk?"

"No, mister agent person. I expect you to be bathed in this acid tanker for my amusement!"

If you do pick this up you should totally hire Red Ivan as your henchman. He is a blast.
Posted 1 July, 2019.
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4 people found this review helpful
7.3 hrs on record (7.3 hrs at review time)
Early Access Review
If Starbound and Rust had an handsome love child it would be this!

The world is your oyster in this game, an hard shelled, sharp teethed, gigantic firebreathing oyster that wants you dead!

Challenge and glory is what awaited me as i climbed to the top of the food chain with the skin of my teeth and loved every moment of it!

Yes the game is hard so should look away now!
Posted 10 August, 2014.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
65.6 hrs on record (2.4 hrs at review time)
In this game you get be an Ork pirate... WHAT THE F*CK COULD YOU WANT MORE!?
Posted 23 July, 2014.
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1 person found this review helpful
70.7 hrs on record (20.4 hrs at review time)
Early Access Review
This the only survival game that allows me to crush bears with stone, take their resources and make a bow to kill more bears, then collect MORE resources to build guns, then use those guns to kill bears.
Posted 3 February, 2014.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
23.2 hrs on record (14.4 hrs at review time)
This game is an excellent combination of hack'n'slash and... Its just hack'n'slash but damn if it doesn't do it well!
Posted 30 November, 2013.
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Showing 1-9 of 9 entries