Dr. Bright is not from an alternate timeline.
Dr. Bright cannot issue orders to "preserve the timeline".
Or to "corrupt the timeline".
Or to "screw with those history nerds".
Dr. Bright is not allowed to challenge anyone to a duel, and then give them SCP-572.
Dr. Bright is not allowed near SCP-5555-J in any way or any excuse. Remember what the miniature version did to Dr. L██████.
Dr. Clef and Dr. Bright are not allowed to interact without the presence of a responsible administrator.
Dr. Kondraki does not count as a responsible administrator.
Nor does Agent Strelnikov.
Or Dr. Mann.
In fact, let's just keep the two of them apart, period.
Chainsaws are not the solution to every question.
Nor is 'More Chainsaws'.
Or "Chainsaw cannons"
Except for that one time. And yes, it was awesome.
SCP speed dating never happened. Any one who claims to remember such an event should report to Site Command for administration of Class A amnesiac.
Dr. Bright is not allowed to use any SCP to alter or affect the outcomes of any reality based television shows, including but not limited to Survivor, Big Brother, Hell's Kitchen, American Idol, or any dating show on VH1.
Not even if Dr. Rights asks nicely.
[REDACTED], [REDACTED] hard.
Dr. Bright is not allowed to administer spankings to Dr. Rights as punishment, as it only causes more rules to be broken.
No, it doesn't matter that they are both "consenting adults", no matter how much either of them argue otherwise.
Dr. Rights is not allowed to spank the monkey.
Nor is she allowed to shock the monkey.
Or anything else related to the monkey.
Dr. Bright is not allowed to use SCP-███ to make 'kick me' signs.
SCP-082 is not to be given song requests, especially not "Like A Virgin".
Nothing in the Foundation is rated 'Over 9000.'
Stop posting classified information on 4-chan.
No using SCP-705 for personal gain.
Or to plant monitoring equipment.
And absolutely no giving them tons of extra Play-Doh 'just to see what they can make.' That Mecha was damned annoying!
If it involves doing something wrong, it isn't right.
If it involves something right, you did it wrong.
If Dr. Bright has to ask, it's above his clearance level.
If it's above Bright's security clearance… run.
Dr. Bright is not allowed to declare war on any country, thing or person.
A stripper a day keeps the doctor away. Dr. Bright is not allowed to contribute to this list. Besides, ██% of Foundation staff have their Ph.D. It'd take more than one stripper to keep them away.
That is not a challenge!
Foundation credit cards or expense accounts are not to be used to purchase pornography.
Not even anomalous pornography.
Dr. Bright is not a "marital aid" and cannot refer to himself as such. Especially on official documents.
Dr. Bright is not the Lord of Rodly Might.
And is hereby banned from playing Dungeons and Dragons making use of SCPs to 'simulate the real danger.'
Dr. Bright is not allowed to go to fan conventions.
Let alone use them as recruitment drives.
Especially not at Furry Conventions.
When writing a report, more detail is expected than "Object class: Keter. Special Containment Procedures: [DATA EXPUNGED]. Description: [DATA EXPUNGED]."
And inventing new security clearances just so nobody can see what you've written is also considered poor form.
Showing Monty Python episodes to SCP-239 was not a wise decision. Please never try this with any other reality warping SCP.
"For the Emperor" is not an acceptable justification for any decision.
"My evil twin did it" is no longer considered a viable excuse.
Nor is "My good twin did it," considering the implications.
Yes, forum trolls are annoying. No, they don't automatically become D-class personnel.
Not allowed to lace 'orgasm muffins' with Ex-lax. Again.