Back in the day, Telltale used to release adventures that didn’t need rapid press of “Q” or “E” buttons or mounds of dialogue choices to progress. “Hector: Badge of Carnage. Ep.1: We Negotiate with Terrorists” is one such fine example. While still episodic, it’s a classic point’n’click game that will satisfy any purist’s demand for a good title. That is if they do well with vulgarity, of course.

Cartoon art style of the game isn’t just visually pleasing but serves as perfect medium to present all the crassness and X-rated fun that is “Hector”, keeping it in “look, it’s a comedy” category and preventing people (or some of them, at least) from getting deeply offended by yet another Hector’s quip. With this choice of graphic style, a junkie sleeping in a sex doll box or a hooker doing “business” in the back alley just seems that much more endearing.

Meet Hector, a potty-mouthed alcoholic DI living in the cell in the police station he works at. Some smart guy decided that Hector is the best at dealing with a “terrorist who captured hostages” situation. Hector’s people skills are at a big glorious 0, but he has a witty comeback for every sentence anyone ever throws at him, plus he wants to go “home” and eat, and get drunk; so yes – why would he not be THE person to deal with all this mess? Considering pile of dead servants of law that’s getting bigger by the minute, something must be done and fast. Sighing deeply Hector gets a list demands from the town-restoration obsessed terrorist: close down a pit of town pornography (his favorite place since childhood), restore a town clock tower (who the hell needs it when there’s a cell phone?), and contribute to a city beautification plan (Hector refused to comment on this one) and sets out to do everything that is not in his nature to accomplish it. What follows is a fun, crude, hilarious journey that manages to wrap the events nicely while making an intriguing set-up for the next part.

With classic point’n’click advancement, Hector progresses by examining environments, using inventory, and engaging in indecent dialogues full of insensitive options with a colorful cast of characters. The puzzles are enjoyable and well-fitting, but only if Hector’s filthy-minded logic will be embraced while solving them. Some of the things he comes up with might be too much for your average adventure player, but if you’re down with a plan he doesn’t have yet, be prepared to be sufficiently surprised with how far (and how low) human imagination can get. It’s fun!

Besides a solid set-up and a smooth playing experience, where the game truly shines is the writing. Remarkably witty dialogue, chock-full of dirty jokes will be delivering several one-liners per screen like nobody’s business. The developer Straandlooper (that seemed to disappear into oblivion after releasing this gem, unfortunately) masterfully leads the episode to its logical conclusion with as much raunchiness and crassness as one could fit into 4 hours of gameplay. And then some.

The soundtrack is simple and changes tunes to support the scene according to the situation, while good-quality sound effects add an additional layer to the world of the game. The voiceover sounds like one supremely talented voice actor was forced to act out Hector plus all the NPCs in this game and tried his very best. In any other game it might have been a sufficient distraction, but… It’s Hector. Everything is happening in Great Britain, hence there’s a variety of accents on display; and majority of the stuff that’s said out loud is so preposterous that somehow it all comes together marvelously and ends up a perfect fit for a game.

With all this comes a warning: “Hector” is NOT for easily offended. If you are, however, someone who could take a very (VERY) risqué joke without blink of an eye, meanwhile finding yourself longing for the good, old days of classic hand-drawn point’n’clicks that had an essence, a soul many games seem to be lacking nowadays… Look no further. At $15 for all three episodes (that often go on sale for under $5!) you’re guaranteed some high-quality violent, carnal fun that never discriminates and insults everyone equally.