Kingu
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
 
 
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391 Hours played
This is the best Canadian content this century outside of Trailer Park Boys or the 2019 Toronto Raptors.

Let me give you a sense of my current colony to appreciate how great Rimworld can be. I landed far north in a Boreal forest, surrounded by angry tribes and mostly hostile neighbours. I wanted nothing more than to make a colony that did nothing but produce hypebeast hoodies made out of musk ox wool and whatever exotic animal that was foolish enough to wander in to make my next quadrum's fashion line. This was going well at first, but it turns out most tribals and vikings don't care for hoodies and were still, rather hostile and unopen to trade.

So my colony diversified its production! We don't just make hoodies for 1000 silver a pop, we also produce cocaine and heroin and sent it to all my angry neighbours from the sky via drop pod. Now, everyone loves us enough to leave us alone while we craft them more drugs and sell hoodies made out of picofiber technomagic to orbital traders. As for my colonists, I currently have 12 colo- no, I presently have 10 staff to assist my two main apparel craters who have done nothing for the last six years except grind their fingers into dust with long sleepless nights making another hoodie for the galactic market. But that's ok, arthritis and lost fingers is no problem as I just chopped off their arms and replaced them with limbs that would make Ordo Machinum jealous. Now production is at an all time high, boosted even further by luxurious soups that the team ingests, constantly spiked with wasabi or amphetamine salt and bouillon cubes made out of heroin. Other perks of employment are the dozens of cute corgis that wander around, a side effect of the fact that breeding corgis is very profitable here in the galactic Rim. Our flagship store is defended by a family of lions that I tamed while the planet was suffering a catastrophic global warming. Conflict was harsh and severe, but luckily our animal feed costs are in the basement as re-purposed corpses from our competitors have been steady for the last three years.

Rimworld is great. Make your own warcrime, find ways to abuse the planetary and intergalactic markets and partake in raw unfiltered capitalism. Finally, with Royalty, you can do all these crimes for a state. Love it. You will die in stupid ways. You will lose in awful ways. But in all that, there is fun. And this game is fun for ages.

CitrusGender 28 Dec, 2015 @ 11:34am 
actually Drake, confirmed.
CitrusGender 21 Oct, 2015 @ 11:20pm 
rip canada, 420-2015: died from liberal frenchie revolutionary sentiment.
CitrusGender 4 Aug, 2015 @ 6:26pm 
this frog is your friend, he fights for freedom
Szoki 9 Mar, 2013 @ 11:55am 
Has the best freaking avatar on Steam.
CitrusGender 21 Jan, 2013 @ 4:53pm 
10/10 would brew coffee with
Breakfast Connoisseur 26 Sep, 2012 @ 4:47pm 
XxXN05C0p3BLUnT5XxX420MLGxXx add me on Blops