Recent reviews by braphog

this is the video game equivalent to the baby from eraserhead

Outstanding narrative, a flawed masterpiece. I can NOT put this game down, one of the best games of all time

♥♥♥♥ AND BALLS!

i wanna be a cowboy baybee

The perfect game does not exi–

Imagine being the soldier in that scene and having to be all like "Damn, that's a well functionin' arm, I can totally see why you built that, to kick demon butt" when all you really want to do is star in another generic co-op survival horror game. Like seriously imagine having to be an army man and not only sit on that street while Nico flaunts her disgusting body in front of you, the favorable lighting barely concealing her tattoos and freckles, and just sit there, monster after monster, combo after combo, while she perfected that arm. Not only having to tolerate her monstrous freakin visage but her southern accent as everyone in your squad tells her HE'S A REAL PRO AT SMACKIN' DEMONS AROUND and DAMN, HER ASSISTANCE LOOKS LIKE THAT?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch her cybernetic freakin robot arm contort into types of surfboard grappling hooks you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been getting massacred by walking halloween decorations and later alleged hell demons for THE ENTIRE INVASION coming straight out of a giant hive thing in the middle of the city. You've never even seen anything this freakin disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on her dimpled stomach as she sucks it in to writhe it suggestively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to sit there and revel in her "fine piece of work" (for that is what she calls it), the piece of work that's apparently worth every dime and asks for cash first. And then Nero asks you to cheer up, and you know you could ruin every single person's groove before the demon army could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're a freakin crew cut. You're not going to lose your future military career over this. Just bear it. Take notes and bear it.

The absolute best game I've ever played.

Sometimes, you'll be able to kill a person by shooting him in the head.

Easy to get into, extremely hard to master, awesome short bursts of fun, flipping vehicles, exploding vehicles, flying vehicles, do I need to go on?

Crashing the bank with no survivours.