"Once upon a time, I wrote a book. People seemed to dig it, so I wrote another and one after that. That’s when Hollywood came knocking at my back door. As soon as I cashed that check, I wrapped my lips around the mighty erection that is the film industry and sucked hard, just like a good ♥♥♥♥♥ should. Unfortunately, I had to be taught not to orphan the balls."


"I probably won't go down in history, but I will go down on your sister"


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"Si vis pacem para bellum" - "If you want peace, prepare for war"

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