Recent reviews by Bloodbag

From the satirical Starship Troopers-esque 'Join Up Today' intro to the infectious and unshakeable positivity of the poor indoctrinated Helldivers themselves, the game just keeps the hype energy going. You'll sprint along the battlefield with bombs quaking the ground behind you, narrowly avoiding death at all turns. Satisfying sound design, visual effects and detailed animation make this a very immersive experience. The live war makes you feel like you are part of something bigger, keeps you guessing at what will happen next. A living narrative.

Both enemy factions have radically different play styles and keep you on your toes; teamwork is key and a well coordinated effort can make or break a mission. The Strategem system adds a layer of frantic to every firefight as you mini-Dance Dance Revolution your way toward calling down a rifle or railgun strike from your Destroyer soaring overhead.

A must play. The best live service game I've played.

Remember when you woke up at night as a kid and felt like something was in the room? Something in the shadows, watching, invisible and malevolent.

This game replicates that. It skips the Hollywood and goes right for a sort of frightening silence, a void with no music, where a small item falling off a shelf can terrify more than any meticulously crafted jump scare ever could. You don't know what's in the room with you, what it wants or what it's capable of; but you know it's there. Every bit of evidence gathered could take you closer to a moment that sends you sprinting through the dark to hide where THE THING can't find you.

I've played Resident Evil, I've played Silent Hill, but never felt the sort of hollow horror that Phasmophobia gave me on the first play. It's not trying to craft a story, it's not a grungy heavily art-directed funhouse or a politically charged allegory to make you think, nor is it an action movie, it just sends you in a haunted house that could be on your block, in your suburb, and says 'good luck'. It's scary in its banality. What's special about 10 Ridgeview Court? Absolutely nothing, it's just got a ghost in it. Could be the type that knocks things off walls, or the type that literally starts hunting you the second you walk inside, strangling your friend on the spot sending you sprinting out the front door. It's a roll of the dice. And it's surprisingly exhilarating.

Just Cause 2 on XBOX 360 was a buggy mess, but a lot of fun. I played hundreds of hours of it.
Just Cause 2 on PC is an even buggier mess, but just as much fun. If a little bit more frustrating.

Grapple-hooking around the map with your parachute out is a blast, at times even meditative. In between these bits of zen as you float across all 40 square kilometers of Panau, are frustrating clunky gunfights, moments where the physics engine decides not to obey its own rules, and more repetitive copy-paste missions than you can count.

But yet- somehow it works. Yes, you may be thrown at mach 3 toward the pavement simply by jumping from your helicopter at the wrong angle. Yes, the game may crash every 20 minutes if you enable decals and bokeh FX. Yes, the helicopter camera MIGHT screw up and bob up and down violently if you don't enable VSYNC.

BUT you can grapple hook people off of skyscrapers, dangle a tank from an airplane, dual wield SMGs and shoot people into the air with the bullets, and live out your Fast & Furious movie fantasies as you surf civilian cars with dozens of enemies in pursuit.

In summary, it's a great time even in 2023, just be prepared that the game might randomly decide to flip you off... just cause.

Deep Rock Galactic is a charming game. It's funny, it's lighthearted.
It's also challenging, incredibly well paced, and supported by a terrific team that obviously love the game and their fanbase.
It also comes with a fully functional virtual bar stocked with beer from across all corners of the Galaxy.

Longtime player of the C&C series. The remaster isn't just faithful to the original, it expands on it in ways that gel well with the feel of the original games. Combat is just as satisfying as ever, and the new multiplayer system is easy to use. Visually stunning, with tons of details to take in. Highly recommend for any C&C players looking to get back into the early games but get turned off by the pixel art.

A classic for a reason. Fast paced, great level design. Enemies are very tough to beat, guns are still satisfying to shoot. Atmospheric, energetic, and fun. Textures are very 1998, but if you can enjoy the look of Minecraft, you can enjoy the look of this, no sweat.

You, citizen. You want a chance to prove yourself before the might of the Federation? Of course you do.
Everyone does.
This is your chance. In HELLDIVERS, the latest combat sim from Fednet Systems, you will face the merciless enemies of the Fed in a state of the art combat arena. You will be tested, and you will be made a champion.
Helldivers is no mere civilian sim. This is war, and this is hell, son. You will be diving into it.
But you will not be alone. No, you can fight alongside your friends in glorious combat against an onslaught of varied foes. You'll fight, and you'll win. For the Fed.

The graphics are state-of-the-art. You want snow footprints? You got snow footprints.

You want fast paced combat? Try white-knuckled "daddy I dont wanna play the scary game" combat.

You want weaponry? You got mechs. Tanks. Cars. Bikes with treads. Your friends ride with you. Your friends ride over you, from time to time.

You want humor? Helldivers has humor, son. All the subtle movie references you can handle.

There are no sims better than helldivers, son.
None.

10/10

Do you suffer from chronic low heartbeat? Dying Light is recommended by nine out of ten doctors to increase heart rate and heart strength by two hundred percent, or your money back.

Do you feel like all the spice has gone out of life, and you're just on a drifting Castaway-like raft on the tides of boredom, talking to the volleyball of depression? Dying Light is recommended by nine out of ten therapists to increase the urge to kick life in the nads and become a confident, zombie-killing parkour god that your Dad always told you to be.

Dying Light is better than Zeus. Dying Light is better at PARKOUR than Zeus, who we all know is the French God of Parkour. In fact, by the end of the game, you will have become so like unto a Parkour Deity, that Zeus would be all like, "Man, I was wrong about you. You can chill with my crew any time." And kick his skateboard up all cool like.

Then he'll throw you a Pepsi and wink.

Buy Dying Light.

Broforce made me the man I am today. It taught me courage. Honor. Respect. A secret hybrid of those three. It also grew hair on my chest.

I mean, I already had some, but it grew more. Like twenty handlebar mustaches worth.

Broforce is better than your Dad. Broforce will cure your impotence. In fact, it makes you so potent, that women within a twenty mile radius of you will find themselves pregnant.

When those babies are born, they will emerge as fully grown men, complete with Aviator Sunglasses, a fully loaded M60, and a nice crisp glass of scotch on the rocks. They will speak in high-fives only, and the ground will quake at their presence.

200/10