Soooooo this is the story all about how
I got to old to hit a single thing now
Let me take a minute
just sit right there
and Ill tell you all about how
I spend all day shooting at nothing but air

Playing Wolfenstein and Duke I was born and raised
Top of the pubs is where I spent most of my days
Chillin out maxin my KDR ruled
and be running some kids through the no-scope school

When suddenly I turned 30 and was no longer good
and the CAL practice servers werent my neighborhood
I bombed one little skrim and it was all up in smoke
and now my FPS life is just a joke

I got a new mouse and a nice keyboard
but my reaction time became a river I couldnt ford
I begged and I pleaded with the gaming gods
but I just kept running around like an incompentant clod