I've got a bad habit of making new friends in a server while rip-roaring drunk and then waking up the next afternoon, looking at my friends list, and wondering who the ♥♥♥♥ all of you are.

*sigh* Good times, man. Good times. Seriously, though, don't ever try to apply for a loan while liquored up. That's how you get a business plan (very well-typed for how inebriated I was, I have to say) stating as a long term goal, "EVERYTHING AND EVERYBODY'S FLAMMABLE IF YOU REALLY APPLY YOURSELF AND ALSO LOTS OF NAPALM." That ♥♥♥♥ stays on your record, son.

"I'm not going to say it isn't impressive, but shouldn't that thing spray *water?*"
"Ha ha, no. Then it'd be a water engine. I mean, the sign says 'FIRE ENGINE,' right there in plain English. I don't know how they could've been clearer."