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9 of 28 (32%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Go Left

Move to the left.
Unlocked 12 Dec, 2021 @ 6:54pm

Go Right

Move to the right.
Unlocked 12 Dec, 2021 @ 6:54pm

Master Unlocker

Collect enough milk to fill the tank.
Unlocked 5 Dec, 2020 @ 9:36am

Always Finishes First

Good at video games. Terrible at sex.
Unlocked 25 Mar, 2022 @ 4:52pm

Generous Lover

Finish last in a Party Mode game.
Unlocked 30 Jul, 2020 @ 7:27am

Spare Wheel

Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.
Unlocked 5 Dec, 2020 @ 9:20am

The Perfect Partner

Marry yourself in Abstinence.
Unlocked 1 Dec, 2020 @ 12:38pm

Magnetic Basshole

Win Lights Out in under five seconds.
Unlocked 5 Dec, 2020 @ 9:18am

Autopaedicatio

Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
Unlocked 1 Dec, 2020 @ 12:29pm



Most Improved Tapulator

Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.

Fire Inspector

Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.

Early Bird

Swallow every worm.

Sleep No More

Don't let sleeping dongs lie.

Self Defence

Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.

Swan Tamer

Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.

Bulking Gear

Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.

Paperwork

Submit your monthly physical report.

Popcorn Buffet

Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.

Clumsy

Die a lot of times in your nightmares.

Couch Party

Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.

My Precious

Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.

Safety First

Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.

Till Death Do Us

Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.

Fussy Lover

Save yourself for that special orgy.
+4

4 hidden achievements remaining

Details for each achievement will be revealed once unlocked