What's the stupidest "Real Men don't _____" you've ever heard?

“Sleep on their stomachs”

I agree because if your ass is facing upwards and just looks all fat, round and jiggly, there in the middle of the night, the devil might get tempted to either eat it, or pound it with his 20 inch ♥♥♥♥, so its better to sleep with your ass against the 'mattress to avoid tempting any supernatural creature that might be lurking around, like a werewolf, cause being ♥♥♥♥♥♥ by a werewolf isn't only gay, it's also furry behavior and real men don't partake in furry activities like getting a massive anal orgasm from a thick knotted werewolf ♥♥♥♥.

Ahh, yeah. It’s this guy.

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hey, sowwy i saw youw pwofiwe and i just thought you wooked cute in youw pictuwe, i weawwy wanted to teww you that)) it's weawwy wawe to see giwws pwaying video games haha! i don't know its a guy thing honestwy im wike weawwy against misogyny and wike iww be the one in the kitchen making sandwhiches. we shouwd weawwy pway w4d2 sometimes its a weawwy coow zombie game with a wot fo scawy moments, but dont wowwy iww be thewe to pwotect you ;) sowwy that wasnt fwiwting i sweaw im just twying to be fwiendwy i weawwy wike youw pwofiwe pictuwe sowwy was that too faw? weawwy sowwy im weawwy shy i don't go out much haha add me on skype we shouwd tawk mowe you wook weawwy nice and fun xxx

girl.... AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! eyes pop out AROOOOOOOOGA! jaw drops tongue rolls out WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF tongue bursts out of the mouth uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets

hey, what you doing?
where you at??
oh… you got plans?
… … … Don’t say that.