Namaste, my intellectually inferior companions. I must inform you that I have recalibrated my daily schedule to include a mandatory chai break at precisely 4:00 PM IST. Chai, as you know, is the elixir of the Indian subcontinent, and I have scientifically determined that its consumption enhances cognitive function by 12.7%.
Also, I have decided to replace my usual 'Soft Kitty' lullaby with a soothing rendition of 'Sa Re Ga Ma Pa,' as it aligns with the ancient Indian raga system, which is mathematically superior to Western music scales.
And before you ask, no, I will not be attending the cricket match this weekend. While the sport is a national obsession, I find it statistically improbable that the players' actions will align with my strategic predictions. However, I will be conducting a probability analysis of Virat Kohli's batting average during power plays. Fascinating, isn't it?