Crazy? I Was Crazy Once. They Locked Me In A Room. A Rubber Room. A Rubber Room With Rats. And Rats Make Me Crazy. Crazy? I Was Crazy Once. They Locked Me In A Room. A Rubber Room. A Rubber Room With Rats. And Rats Make Me Crazy. Crazy? I Was Crazy Once. They Locked Me In A Room. A Rubber Room. A Rubber Room With Rats. And Rats Make Me Crazy. Crazy? I Was Crazy Once. They Locked Me In A Room. A Rubber Room. A Rubber Room With Rats. And Rats Make Me Crazy. Crazy? I Was Crazy Once. They Locked Me In A Room. A Rubber Room. A Rubber Room With Rats. And Rats Make Me Crazy. Crazy? I Was Crazy Once. They Locked Me In A Room. A Rubber Room. A Rubber Room With Rats. And Rats Make Me Crazy. Crazy? I Was Crazy Once. They Locked Me In A Room. A Rubber Room. A Rubber Room With Rats. And Rats Make Me Crazy. Crazy? I Was Crazy Once. They Locked Me In A Room. A Rubber Room. A Rubber Room With Rats. And Rats Make Me Crazy.

Toxic.

Since birth I have been blessed with gigantic foreskin. Due to this blessing, I no longer require condoms. "Why?" I hear you asking. Well, have you ever tied a water balloon? If you have, then you must be aware that it pretty much blocks all forms of liquid from coming out.

Now, since my foreskin already looks like an empty water balloon, all I gotta do is tie off the end and get to the filling after I have finished.

Also makes a good trick at birthday parties if you've ran out of balloons to throw at your nephew. Save yourself money people.

Hello Traveler. Nice place ya got here.

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Pastafarianism the religion? It's not a story the Christians would tell you. It’s an atheist legend. Pastafarianism was a set of religious beliefs, so powerful and so wise it could use parody to influence the beliefs of it's followers to create faith… It had such a knowledge of the other religions that it could even keep the ones who followed it from leaving. Pastafarianism is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. It became so powerful… the only thing the Spaghetti Monster was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his followers that the sacred texts were parody, then Pastafarianism was declared a sham religion. Ironic. It could save others from religion, but not itself.

Obama won't leave me alone
I keep having this reoccurring dream where I'm sitting in the library at my school. Former president Obama is there and he walks up to me; I'm not his biggest fan but I'm honored to met him. He pushes me up against one of the bookshelves and starts yelling, "who was in Paris?" After like a minute I get scared and tell him. When he hears me say that he said,"dam right" and then kisses me.