Welcome to my hellhole of reckless aim and questionable thirst. My goal? To make my enemies consider a nice, warm toaster bath. I’ve got the reflexes of a caffeinated bat and aim as sharp as a plastic spoon.

Rank: Negative Silver Assassin Wannabe

Main weapon: uh... ninja stars (no, they’re not in the game, but they should be) Secondary: Pure, unfiltered spite
Headshots: 40% skill, 60% server lag
Gameplay style: Flashbang myself, hope I look hot doing it

I’m here to haunt your dreams, break your spirit, and maybe steal your girlfriend if she likes losers. Remember, every game needs a wildcard—and I’m the whole damn deck.