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53 of 59 (90%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Got a Car and a Date

Complete "Welcome to the Age of Metal"
Unlocked 13 Sep, 2013 @ 9:39am

Start a Revolution

Complete "Exploited in the Bowels of Hell"
Unlocked 13 Sep, 2013 @ 10:11am

Thick as a Baby's Arm

Complete "Lair of the Metal Queen"
Unlocked 27 Oct, 2013 @ 1:11pm

Hair Remover

Complete "Battle for Bladehenge"
Unlocked 27 Oct, 2013 @ 6:02pm

French Kiss Instructor

Complete "Pilgrimage of Screams"
Unlocked 2 Nov, 2013 @ 2:10pm

Chicks n' Booze n' Stuff

Complete "Sanctuary of Sin"
Unlocked 14 Dec, 2013 @ 9:50am

Ran to the Hills

Complete "It's Raining Death"
Unlocked 14 Dec, 2013 @ 10:06am

Fistful of Fog

Complete "Dry Ice, Wet Graves"
Unlocked 14 Jan, 2014 @ 1:25pm

No More Tears

Complete "Sea of Black Tears"
Unlocked 9 Feb, 2014 @ 12:14pm

Overkill

Complete all hunting secondary missions
Unlocked 5 Jan, 2014 @ 6:37pm

Squeal Like a Chicken

Complete all racing secondary missions
Unlocked 24 Dec, 2013 @ 2:05pm

Protector

Complete 20 ambush, outpost defense, or mortar secondary missions
Unlocked 19 Feb, 2014 @ 2:36pm

Metal God

Achieve 100% completion on the stats screen
Unlocked 23 Feb, 2014 @ 6:59pm

Serpent Samaritan

Free 40 Bound Serpents
Unlocked 24 Dec, 2013 @ 3:02pm

Serpent Spanker

Free 80 Bound Serpents
Unlocked 16 Feb, 2014 @ 8:10pm

Serpent Savior

Free all 120 Bound Serpents
Unlocked 23 Feb, 2014 @ 4:26pm

One Hit Wonder

Purchase 1 upgrade in the Motor Forge
Unlocked 27 Oct, 2013 @ 11:55am

Loyal Customer

Purchase all upgrades in the Motor Forge
Unlocked 22 Feb, 2014 @ 1:55pm

Virtuoso

Learn all guitar solos
Unlocked 5 Jan, 2014 @ 5:53pm

Tourist

View all vistas
Unlocked 23 Feb, 2014 @ 4:26pm

Now You Must Tell the Tale

View all Legends
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2014 @ 7:16pm

Voices From Beyond

Unlock all songs in the Mouth of Metal
Unlocked 23 Feb, 2014 @ 3:58pm

Flowerslave

Summon all Motor Forges
Unlocked 24 Dec, 2013 @ 3:28pm

Practice Bloody Practice

Win an AI stage battle - any difficulty
Unlocked 22 Feb, 2014 @ 7:59pm

Victör

Win a ranked multiplayer match
Unlocked 14 Mar, 2014 @ 2:59pm

Subjügator

Win 10 match-made multiplayer battles.
Unlocked 23 Mar, 2014 @ 9:05pm

Cönquerer

Win 50 match-made multiplayer battles.
Unlocked 26 Apr, 2014 @ 11:21pm

Master of the Flame

Double Team with every Ironheade unit
Unlocked 11 Jan, 2014 @ 9:47pm

Master of the Tear

Double Team with every Drowning Doom unit
Unlocked 23 Feb, 2014 @ 4:45pm

Master of the Blood

Double Team with every Tainted Coil unit
Unlocked 23 Feb, 2014 @ 5:02pm

Armchair General

Win a single-player Stage Battle against the AI using only orders
Unlocked 29 Mar, 2014 @ 9:38am

Favored

Acquire 3,000 Fire Tributes
Unlocked 19 Feb, 2014 @ 3:46pm

Some Demon Flesh on your Bumper

Slay 150 enemies with the Deuce - any mode
Unlocked 2 Nov, 2013 @ 1:08pm

I've never touched an axe before

Personally smote 300 enemies - any mode
Unlocked 11 Jan, 2014 @ 8:42pm

Silence, ground walker!

Gain 5 or more seconds of hang time in a single jump - any mode
Unlocked 23 Dec, 2013 @ 3:32pm

Six Degrees of Schafer

Play with or against another player who has this Achievement
Unlocked 23 Feb, 2014 @ 7:12pm

Ringleader

Trap 15 enemies in one ring of fire with the Fire Baron's Double Team
Unlocked 15 Mar, 2014 @ 12:15pm

Coolest Thing Ever

Jump over a Hextadon in the Deuce
Unlocked 5 Jan, 2014 @ 9:47pm

Beast Master

Ride one of every ridable animal.
Unlocked 5 Jan, 2014 @ 9:39pm

Boar Bather

Ride a Razorfire Boar into the Sea of Black Tears and live to tell the tale.
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2014 @ 7:33pm

Quill Tosser

Kill a Tollusk using only Ground Urchins
Unlocked 4 Jan, 2014 @ 11:11pm

Groupie

Complete Campaign mode on Gentle
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2014 @ 4:17pm

Roadie

Complete Campaign mode on Normal
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2014 @ 4:17pm

Iron Fist

Win an AI stage battle - Brütal difficulty
Unlocked 15 Mar, 2014 @ 9:32am

Carnivore

Run down 20 animals in the Deuce with the Coiling Maw equipped.
Unlocked 24 Dec, 2013 @ 3:22pm

If You Want Blood, You Got It

Kill 20 Tainted Coil units with the Disgorger.
Unlocked 21 Dec, 2013 @ 9:05pm

Cry Me a River

Kill 20 Drowning Doom units with the Eye of Sorrow.
Unlocked 23 Dec, 2013 @ 4:15pm

Beard Beard Action Beard!

Make out with Ophelia while wearing the Mountain Man Threads.
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2014 @ 4:38pm

A Face Like a Beast

Kill 15 enemies with a Metal Beast while wearing the Zaulia Threads.
Unlocked 23 Feb, 2014 @ 2:27pm

Hammer of Infinite Fate Tourist

Play a multiplayer game on all Hammer of Infinite Fate multiplayer maps.
Unlocked 23 Feb, 2014 @ 5:30pm

Hammer of Fate Champion

Win 10 games on Hammer of Infinite Fate maps - ranked or vs. the Brütal AI.
Unlocked 26 Apr, 2014 @ 10:53pm

Whispering Rock

Chisel four Razputin heads onto Mt. Rockmore.
Unlocked 27 Oct, 2013 @ 5:20pm

Norwegian Sendoff

Visit the grave of a fallen hero while wearing the Black Metal Threads.
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2014 @ 4:50pm



Sellout

Spend 250,000 fans - any mode

Painkiller

Kill 25 enemies with the grinder of one Rock Crusher

Dollpocalypse

Hit 6 enemies with the explosion from a Brood's Double Team

Euthanasia

Hit 15 enemies with one Agony Ball using the Pain Lifter's Double Team

Death From Above

Kill 20 enemies with one Bleeding Death

Legend

Complete Campaign mode on Brütal