Recent reviews by w00tus

This is a REALLY GOOD GAME!! Yes, it's early access. However, it's ready to play now with only little things unpolished. (As of 26MAR24.) The devs are constantly adding updates. It's not a dead, cash grab POS like most adult games. This one has substance. It's high quality. IT'S NOT WOKE!!!

YOU CAN RE-MAP THE BUTTONS AND THEY ACTUALLY WORK!!

(Also, NOT woke!)

Just wanted to get that out there. That's the #1 criteria for any side scroller or really any game that uses a controller for me. If this requirement isn't met, nothing else about the game matters. I wouldn't even play Super Metroid if the buttons where all goofy. And that's my all time favorite controller game.

That out of the way, I just want to say that this is definitely a lot of bang for the buck. I bought it on sale for 79 cents. I wish I could go back and wait to buy it for the full price of four dollars. I'd truthfully pay 20 dollars for it. It's a really, REALLY good game. And the player character is a smoke show. Yes, that matters to me. If I'm looking at a woman in a game, or a movie, or anything I buy to entertain myself, I want her to be hot. If she looks like the south end of a north bound mule, I want no part of it. That's just how it is. That's why I buy so many "H games" as they call them. They're the only games anymore that are DEI, ESG and woke free. If I see an ESG score, I don't buy. If I see anything about DEI, I don't buy. If I even smell woke, I don't buy. Period. I refunded my first game ever because I confirmed that it was being woke made. Pre-ordered years in advance (you can probably guess which one).

That being said, sadly, there isn't an adult patch for this game that I can find. I would definitely, definitely like one (hint hint devs..). But, the game is awesome on it's own.

I'd heard a lot about it - negative and positive. I will say, it's worth the money I think. It's got tons to explore. It's kinda like Minecraft in space.

It's a game that you can even use cheats and STILL want to replay it again and again!

I thought "surely I can make this work," after reading all the negative reviews. Well. I can. However, it required a level of effort FAR beyond the reward. As others have said - you can just emulate a rom. I wanted to support this title in hopes that maybe we'd get more before everyone involved with the development was dead of natural causes. They've been teasing us for twenty something years now with "it's not a matter of if, but when." Well, I don't see any plans anywhere of ever getting another EWJ game. But to the point - this software is junk. I think all of us buying this is just enabling worthless grab-asses to get away with theft and possibly ensuring a new game will never be made. Why make a Shiny new game when you can get just as much money or more from a stale old turd?

I don't give a ♥♥♥♥ what anybody says - especially the SJW land whales - this game is the shiz-nit!!! Good job devs!!

If you really need to just not think for several hours - this is the way to do it.

Top three things I like about it:
1. It's easy to dive right in and start tinkering.
2. It's deceptively simple. This engine is actually very deep and complex if you want to really get into it.
3. LOADS of support. Every kind of tutorial imaginable is available free on youtube or other places. Written guides. Scripts.. Just tons and tons of help if you get stuck.

I can't really think of anything that I don't like about it. I've read about it's short comings, but so far I've not needed the features where they would be an issue for me.

Once I managed to save enough money to buy a quantum computer and move to Antarctica to keep it cool, I finally had a machine powerful enough to run this game. Even with hardware that's processing power can only be theorized as no other hardware exists to compare it to, much less clock it, it still struggles. After playing the game a few minutes, I noticed the ice under my house was cracking as my yard turned to slushy soup. I stopped, built an arc, and loaded two of every type of junk food aboard along with my quantum computer and several pumps I bought off of some gold miners to fuel the liquid cooling loops with arctic ocean water. I fired up the game again, and I must say I quite enjoy it.

It's a little grindy. Well. A lot grindy, but it never pretended to be otherwise. When a google satellite passes over me, I'm able to hop on youtube and see the news. I've seen that since I bought this game, climate change has become an issue. They say glaciers are disappearing and the polar caps are melting. I don't know if this is because of my running this game, but according to my star charts, I haven't moved more than a mile or two from where I built this arc. However, in any direction, as far as I can see I'm surrounded by boiling water. Up side, I have an inexhaustable source of cooked fish.

It's taken a while to build up resources, but after some grind I managed to progress the plot point. I gotta say, this game is funny! I like the characters and do enjoy the novelty of being on this side of the JRPG merchant's counter. The majesty of this game isn't just limited to the virtual environment. It seems to have formed a special relationship with my new computer. Sometimes, I find saved games from years in the future. Sometimes I find myself in two places at once. Which is handy when I don't want to quit playing, but need some munchies. A tiny guy riding an ant has shown up a few times begging me to turn my computer off. Don't know what that's about.

Seriously guys.. I'm not a programmer, so I have no idea what's up. But there is NO WAY this game should be burning up CPUs like they're kindling. Please, for the love of god or the unholy overlords, hire a effing programmer to take a look at your source and find out what's causing this. I doubt you care about this game, but whatever engine quirk or mess up on your end is causing this is going to continue to plague everything you make. Do it to keep your company alive if nothing else.

*Edit 21NOV24* I.. Forgot all about this. But, the dev actually made an attempt to fix the issue. This is a first. So, despite not having played the game since I made this review, I'm changing it to a positive. I will install and try it out again though. And when I do, I'll add some substance to the review.

Thank you, dev(s)!

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Well.. This was disappointing.. A glitch didn't allow me to even leave the first room. If the bug gets fixed, I'll amend this review. I could only get to the part where I needed to equip two abilities at the safe. I did so and tried every possible combination of abilities. But nothing triggered.