Análises recentes de ham

I completed the entire Dying Light story via "other playable means" - I got this copy during the free weekend just to see how well it has aged. Not disappointing, but not exceptional either: 6.5/10.

DL is your ye ol' zombie chompie game, with unremarkable hordes and horde kinds, shoot-em-up expectations, and a heavy focus on stamina-based mechanics and an unsurprising skill tree. However, the parkour - oh I could hug and kiss and spoon the parkour all night.

First person parkour is the most exhilarating experience you can gain from being a dude in a game. Prototype? Bam, alien-bite superpowers make it go from nyoom to nyoooooooom. Uncharted? Bam, a single grappling hook is sufficient for the experience to go from a cover-based shooter to a rope-based shooter. Spoilers: this game gives you a grappling hook as well because it is a good game.

With world models being used alongside first person cameras, DL goes from excited dogrunning to excited dogrunning with weapons. And flying! But not a lot. But still. Meh. I mean I ca-

Dying Light is a well-crafted first person experience. Be THE generic dude to save a city by being an errand boy. Encounter a generic bald-headed antagonist that is crafted like the blend of Far Cry 3's Vaas and Metal Gear Solid V's Skull Face. Work for a shadow organization as your character arc takes you from generic dude to generic dude with a god complex. Get a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ grappling hook and a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ parachute alongside to be able to feel actually useful once every cooldown period. And zombies. What is this, 2014?

Oh, THE PARKOUR MECHANICS FROM DOOM:ETER-

Got fooled by the low-poly graphics and bought it thinking it could run smoothly on my toaster.

Game toasted my toaster, now my toaster has less IRL graphics than this game. 10/10.

I refunded this product because I'm satisfied with how the Prologue plays, and that's around the perfect amount of time I game in a single session. However, Fights In Tight Spaces? Fights In Tight Spaces isn't a game - it is an undercover IQ test. You'd be a fool to not play it if you're a fan of Into The Breach, or any turn-based deck-building roguelike.

FITS is all about the exaggerated swagger of a black tweenager, 3/3.

First things first - I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ at artistry, and I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ with physics simulation.

And this is why I must say, SuchArt is - wait for it - pretty good. With a moderate computer, you can get pretty good graphics, and the simulated particles are pretty accurate. Turn the music off and the earnings down, and you have a very realistic homeless artist simulator in your hand.

Minus the interstellar space story thingy. 8/10, still falling into a black hole I drew.

You will be GLaD to play this game in <<insert current year here>>.

Recommended 2.

Meta commentary 2: this game is disguised as a puzzle-strategy-stealth sandbox 2, when, in reality 2, there is no game 2.

There is only you - Agent 47 2 - and your target. And maybe Diana-2, but she's just a voice in your head. And Hitman 2 is all about complying to the voice 2 in your head, going about and being shrewdly creative 2 with killing people all over the world 2.

Hitman 2 - in a way - is about a schizophrenic ageing sociopath 2.

Meta commentary: this game is disguised as a puzzle-strategy-stealth sandbox, when, in reality, there is no game.

There is only you - Agent 47 - and your target. And maybe Diana, but she's just a voice in your head. And Hitman is all about complying to the voice in your head, going about and being shrewdly creative with killing people all over the world.

Hitman - in a way - is about a schizophrenic ageing sociopath.

When I say I hate rogue-like beat 'em ups, you have to understand that I DESPISE the entire genre. Risk of Rain 2? More like Risk of Brain Doodoo. Gunfire Reborn? More like Gunfire ReDEAD. Katana Zer0? More like ... okay nevermind, I haven't played that.

But Hades - oh this is a fun one.

It has an ever-evolving story and homeworld that only progresses if you die. IF. YOU. DIE. And the game throws everything at you to ensure that you GET KILLED. That is why every time you beat a level, you feel like you beat the entire team of devs that threw this random clumsy mess at your face and tested your button-mashing skills.

And the story? Sure, it definitely is Greek mythology- but the voice acting is like "bapbap here's a sarcastic whip" and the characters are like "beepbeep I am sheep" and - guess what? - IT TOTALLY WORKS! Hell/10.

Holy ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ is this game so much fun.

Slick man in a slick suit fighting in a very Superhot-style manner, Fights in Tight Spaces is everything its name says - there's tights, there's spaces, and - of course - there's ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ NINJAS. Bandits? Check. Ninjas? Check. Boss fights? Check. Rogue-like action with randomly generated progression every single time? Check.

Would definitely shift past and let them friendly fire each other than land a single hit again and again; 3/3.

This game?

This peepee game that does not have the balls to introduce ranged mechanics other than some outdated flying stick ♥♥♥♥? This poopoo game that has broken melee mechanics, something around which the entire game hangs on? This doodoo game that has clunky animations, janky netcode, and wanky customizations?

THIS game? Is a dead game. Is a FUN game, mind you - but is a DEAD game. Zweihander/5.