𝙰𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚟𝚒𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎:
𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚂𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁𝙴𝙻𝚈 𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚌.
𝙳𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚍 𝚗𝚘𝚒𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚑𝚒𝚖.
𝙳𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚑𝚒𝚖.
𝙳𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚍𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚢𝚎.
𝙳𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚢 𝚜𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚙𝚊𝚐𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚢

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If u suck your own d ick while you turn 18, it is considered illegal due to gravitational time dilation.
Ok so hear me out. Due to gravitation time dilation, your upper body is technically older then your lower body, that is ofcourse ... due to Gravitational Time Dilation. Gravitational Time Dilation is the effect gravity has on time. The lower the gravitational potential, the faster time is. Knowing this, because your d ick has more gravitational potential then your head, your head is older then your d ick (by like less then a millionth of a nanosecond but that doesn’t matter). So if you were sucking your own d ick while you turned 18, your head would age first. This means your 18 year old head would be sucking you 17 year old d ick. and you're a pedophile. that's all i wanted to say ! Thank you for listening to my TED Talk.

Nearly 2000 hours on CSGO and still only a nova (proceeds to laugh in a corner reserved for silvers)