~I wear velcro shoes.

~I was Time magazine's Person of the Year in 2006

~I am widely known as one of the greatest of all time

~I'm really good at fingering girls. I know this because I have hemorrhoids and I have to finger myself in the ass every day to apply my ass cream

~I was born with a mutated head in the shape of an egg.

~I live on the corner of Bodacious Boulevard and Cowabunga Corner.

~Currently in my life, I have produced 4 recipes using the ingredient of month old sloppy joe meat.

~Very famous Tumblr blogger

~Watch yourself around me