>raping everyone in mario kart
>they're all actually sweating to the point their controllers are falling out of their hands
>girl is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ creaming herself watching me rape them as baby peach
>eating two scoops of ice cream with one hand and using one hand on the controller
>tell her "i'm gonna rape you like a baby....a baby...PEACH"
>everyone goes silent
>girl suddenly stops orgasming
>anon, did you just say.....peach?
>y-yes?
>as in, impeach?
>i slowly put the last scoop of ice cream in my mouth as they all stare at me
>did you just...have TWO ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ SCOOPS OF ICE CREAM?
>BAHNALD ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ DRUUUUMPFY WUMPFY

I imagine myself in Europe, leading my Platoon. Our mission is to stop wh*Te dogs from advancing. We mow down wh*Te dogs but they keep coming. I shoot wh*Te dogs but I run out of ammo so I draw my sword and begin slaughtering wh*Tes, since wh*Tes are way more psychially inferior to me, I slay them by dozens. Then I get shot, but I didn’t fall, I kept fighting. Then shot again and again. wh*Tes were shooting me from a distance like the cowards they are. I lie down, facing up to sky and I see KARA BOĞA (Tengri) smiling at me, I smile back… Then I woke up, in africa, my homeland. My BLACK brethen gave me a warm welcome to heaven. I finally made it, I finally made it into heaven..

you a gamer dude? me and my girlfriend, we're a gamer couple alright? zombies? i don't think so. 2 rounds with the pulse rifle? take em out. i prefer the shotgun tho. shotgun'll- shotgun'll make it's- it's bad news for any zombie. i'll take on the entire zombie apocalypse, just gimme a shotgun. you ready for the zombie apocalypse? you just get back from vidcon? i-i'm goin to comiccon. did you go to the convention? i'm going to comiccon. and i'm gonna meet all my favourite ironman and all my favourite characters are gonna be there and my favourite comicbook artists. yeah i'm really-i'm really souped for uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh diablo iii. when it comes out in 2014. am i right? epic fail blizzard, epic fail..

My favorite theater trashing technique:
>get a jumbo popcorn
>eat what you want throughout the film but leave as much left as possible
>at the end of the film, put any other trash you have in the bucket with the leftover popcorn
>dump the rest of your soda in the bucket so the contents are nice and wet
>hold a piece of paper or something else thin to the top of the bucket
>turn it upside-down and place it on the floor
>pull the piece of paper out from under it
To the ushers it will just look like an empty upside-down popcorn bucket on the floor, there may be a bit of a wet spot from your soda but they won't suspect a thing. When they pick it up to throw it out, all the soggy popcorn and trash inside will spill all over the place. It's hysterical, sometimes I have giggle fits to myself just imagining some wagey's face when they pick up that bucket.