Recent reviews by Nonsense Bird

i went in expecting some jokes about wizards with guns and a solid tactics game. What i got was a gem that swiftly shoved xcom 2 and into the breach aside for the title of My Favorite Tactics Game, *and* delivered an astoundingly well-delivered narrative that threads that rarest of narrative needles: being tremendously funny and compellingly dramatic at the same time.

I have formed a parasocial attachment to every character, i weep for their woes, cheer for their journeys, and rejoice for their drip. The setting consists of vivid worldbuilding so intricate and lifelike that if not for all the wizards and the teleporting, it would be easy to forget that it isn't real world history.

also the music is really good.

if i haven't convinced you not to skip this game yet, consider this: it is one of the four games I know about with an interactive conspiracy corkboard. this alone would have made it my 2024 goty, but Shadows of Doubt also dropped a banger corkboard this year so it's a tough race. Anyway play Tactical Breach Wizards!

This game has a ton of great ideas, and a ton of flaws. But there's one flaw that I think is representative of most of the game's problems: many conditions, random encounters, gambling results, and mystery boxes simply skip your turn or hurt you. In many cases, there is no way at all to anticipate this before it happens.

**This is not a complication (an unexpected challenge for the players to overcome that puts a twist or extra pressure on a situation). it is only a pain in the ass.** it only feels bad and does nothing to induce dynamic or interesting gameplay. Whether it's unexpectedly not getting to take a turn for the next 20 minutes, losing your extremely rare helmet on the first turn of a combat you didn't know contained an enemy with corrosion, or confusing your character so they flee a boss fight early so you just have to wait for your friends to die, this game does not feel bad in the slightest about wasting your time and taking things away from you - *especially* when it fails to create an interesting situation.

I love difficult games. i love traditional roguelikes that kill you 95% of the time. I think *almost* insurmountable challenge is fun. But it is so important that the designers understand the difference between fun challenge and wasted time, and that the game keep its promise to respect your effort and time. These designers do not.

I'm going to keep a close eye on For the King 2 to see how it develops, because this game really does have a ton of awesome ideas, and there are too few games like it. But i'm not going to buy it, yet.

make sure to play turn based because it is outrageously difficult and punishing to play realtime, and the auto-control options are inadequate for managing casters in particular.

also make sure to use the toy box mod if you want to give yourself an easier time with crusades without skipping it altogether (it's a really cool system! just abysmally balanced!)

overwhelmingly worth it though. this is a proper ttrpg/crpg epic adventure with lovable characters, interesting villains, and wonderful writing. and the pathfinder 1e system isn't popular for no reason.

bubbling with energy, packed to the brim with fun characters and art, and fisting with abandon, this is a game for all who have ever enjoyed a good knuckle sandwich. also the soundtrack is good.

also if you find it a bit hard to react to things you can turn the combat speed down in accessibility settings. i won't tell nobody

I've played as many of these retro-ish/low-techish dungeon crawlers as I could find, and Slasher's Keep is an easy top 5. The combat feels good and fair without being easily exploitable or too easy, the room layouts and enemy AI are dynamic enough to stay fresh over time, the abilities, stats, and equipment all feel impactful and improve at a comfortable pace, and the push attack (which is swinging your bag of loot at the enemy) is super useful and incredibly satisfying to kill enemies with.

I adore the weapon crafting system and love making a funny face-on-a-stick and then bashing enemies with it. This is a system i deeply wish to see more games expand on.

I also love the way the game handles death and resets - you only lose 25% of your levels and money, and are able to send items back to your future self as you go. Meaning, every character will *eventually* be very powerful over several runs and you're always experiencing a satisfying acceleration of gameplay.

some minor complaints:
- i wish i could jump over waist-high fences and boxes. this especially annoying when enemies push a box into the only path and my only option is to just walk into it at different angles until it moves. it's still kind of fun when this happens though because it creates some weird and unusual situations with enemy positioning

- i wish i could crouch. honestly i think every first person game should have a crouch even if it doesn't provide any practical value. it's just super weird feeling like i don't have knees. this /can/ contribute to a retro game feel and is tolerable when a game never gives you a reason to crouch, but this game puts lots of things on shelves at shin-height and has enemies shoot projectiles through fence holes that would be cool to crouch under. not a big deal overall.

- i wish the deflect skill was a default feature. you don't have a real defense against ranged attacks without it, besides 'kill them first'. maybe make it so you can timed-parry projectiles by default and have deflect enable blocking them?

- the minimap is generally pretty hard to read. increasing the negative space between rooms and giving an indication of door direction would go a long way imo

- wands aren't effective enough. they all feel GREAT and look cool - but equip time is too long to use during normal combat, and damage is too low to pick off most enemies from afar. this limits wand use to a few annoying flying enemies and to pulling aggro. could be a skill issue though.

things i like (not a complete list)
- overall level design makes the most out of few assets. environmental hazards and enemy types, the delightful push attack, and the range of melee strategies between fast and slow weapons and their various power swings/stabs, all combine to create a suprisingly dynamic experience

- only game i've played so far that was super consistent and fair with the aimed-parries thing. it feels great to skill your way through being cornered by four enemies. most dungeon crawley games in this genre are more than content to just kill you and say better luck next time when you mess up or the game decides to mean to you about enemy spacing/positioning.

- the weapon crafting system is such a treat. i need more of this

- the progression system is a welcome change of pace from the full resets of other games in the genre. most of these are either way too easy or way too hard, and it's difficult to keep slogging through the hard ones when you don't make much progress. Slasher's Keep goes fully in the opposite direction, arguably not punishing you enough for dying, giving you a lot of meaningful choices about what to send down the chute for your next run and when to take risks, and guaranteeing a satisfying sense of progression and empowerment without getting too easy at any point.

- the Permalearn system is a fun one. every 2 levels you get a 'permalearn' point, allowing you to take any of the perks you've acquired so far (randomly every other level, and from equipped items) and learn 1 level of that perk forever. You could decide that you like the way this mace gives you fiery attacks, and gain fiery attacks **forever**. or maybe you want to refill your wands when you eat spiders? the dungeon is your oyster. there's lots of perks to choose from and permalearning skills makes it feel like every character is a multi-run project

- the shop keeper is easily top 5 in videogames for me. what a lovable dude.

- and more(tm) i like this game. play it if you like first-person dungeon crawlers.

you can spam the emote button to make the muscle mommy grunt real fast like PFFT HURGH HUH PFFT PSSHHH HURGHH GAH

this game is absolutely overflowing with fresh ideas and stunning art. the slow and deliberate attacking brings me back to Dark Souls 1 nostalgia - and DS1's chunky, satisfying pace - while the moving rafts introduce a sort of mobility that just doesn't exist in any other game. Loot River feels like nothing else, and will feel like home to people who enjoyed older soulslikes. If that's not your cup of tea, though, stick it out until you unlock some spells and weapons! it won't take long, and in time you'll have loads of options for pace and playstyle.

and if somehow you don't think you'll love this game, I *insist* - it's worth it just to encounter some game design ideas that i've scarcely seen elsewhere, and that really ought to get more attention.

PS THE MUSIC SLAPS

it's the future of videogames

absolutely head over heels in love with this game. The soundtrack has me bouncing in my seat before i left the menu and carried on that way throughout. In a time of dozens of deck builders, Heck Deck stands out with unique concept and mechanics that feel much too good to be true. Closest thing i could compare it to is like a Deck Building... Superhot.. Bullet Hell... Kirby? It really is one of a kind. Heck Deck is worth far more than its price and you have no excuse to not buy it

a lot of people here are mad that this DLC went on sale twice before anything was even released but here's my take

turtle rock doesn't get it done on time, they get it done good (eventually) ((with patches probably)).

I'm optimistic (especially after the december update) that this money will make its way back to me in the form of Cool Zom Stuff.

I will report back if this does not happen