The Patron Saint of Chaos

The Emperor Protects

Joining the Mobile Infantry made me the man I am today

Liberty and Freedom are non-negotiable

And low, he went forth to bestow his brass bounty upon the great unwashed. Blessed is gun Jesus

By 2100 there will be no man, woman, child, gender-less blob hive-mind node or sentient, extra-dimensional dodecahedron more than a 10 minute hyper-jump away from a Big Mac or a Ford dealership
- God Emperor of Terra, 2090

What we learn from history, is that no one learns from history

You wanna know how I got these scars? My father was, a farmer... and a patriot. And one day, he goes off crazier than usual. Red coat gets the battle knife to defend himself. He doesn’t like that. Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the hatchet to him, scowling as he does it. He turns to me and he says. “No taxation without representation.”

Confederate sympathizers shall be visited by Burnin' Sherman and shall then surrender again.

God created war so Americans would learn geography

They are called "Human Rights" for a reason. Cant be crimes against Humanity if they're not Humans. I don't remember no stinkin' Xenos signing the Geneva Convention.

I like my women like I like my cars: all original parts

Children are ill suited to modern combat on the frontlines. They are better suited to crewed weapons, which builds teamwork.

“Ever since man first left his cave and met a stranger with a different language and a new way of looking at things, the human race has had a dream: to kill him, so we don’t have to learn his language or his new way of looking at things.“

-The man with no name, Zapp Branningan

Never invade the US on a day that ends in Y

History began on July 4th, 1776. Everything before that was a mistake

The world must learn of our peaceful ways... by force!

Man has fought themselves for ten thousand years. Therefore, they have no excuse for not fighting well

British pastime: Tea
American pastime: Baseball
Russian pastime: Gulag
German pastime: France

Turks: we’ve conquered the Byzantines, and Romans! Who would dare challenge our supremacy?!
Slavs: :)

Prussian society had three classes: artillery, infantry and cavalry

Titans... built in the image of a church because everywhere they go is a funeral.

One man with a halberd may be no match for a troll. But then, no man fights alone when he fights for Franz.

"Hast thou attempted the Litany of Deactivation and Reactivation?"

- Magos Stevros Geobbs of the Collegia Titanica troubleshooting the god-engine Malus, c. 009.M3

She's built like a steakhouse, but handles like a bistro

What we lack in numbers, we make up for by not being Russians

Book of Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one:

"And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas. And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'

Your booing means nothing to me, I’ve seen what makes you cheer!