We were fighting infected all across the square,
the scent of their blood was in the air.
A witch in the courtyard gave us a scare,
and then things only got worse from there.

When a hunter grabbed Bill and thrashed him in twain,
Francis was hung by a smoker as he howeled in pain.
Zoey with her pistol and took careful aim,
she fired 2 shots, but it was all in vain.

Just then, when all hope had been burned and bled,
the infected all scream and turned and fled.
Clothed in a flannel shirt blue, black, and red,
came an angel of Badass, named Chicago Ted.

With his shotguns a blazing, he slaughtered that horde,
till he got bored of that, and switched to his sword.
His cap coated in blood, while us he ignored,
for the thill of the hunt was his own reward.
Many have searched for him, even the feds.
Thus ends the Ballad of Chicago Ted.

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