The History of the Gradian: One day, a man was sitting on his front porch, staring blankly at a circle. The circle had some radii drawn on it. This man was really pleased when he looked at the radii, because they perfectly divided the circle into eight equal parts, being each 45 degrees or π/4 radians apart. He thought his life was perfect, just sitting there, watching his well-divided circle.

However, one day, a portly man by the name of Augustus came by with a carving knife. Augustus wasn't happy with the circle-obsessed man, so he committed a heinous crime; he cut eight more radii into the circle, each 30 degrees apart. Infuriated, the man with the now inperfect circle charged at Augustus, who easily dodged the attack by moving along the imaginary axis.

The man sat, and cried for the next √(8) days and cried, horribly depleting his body of necessary fluids. After rehydrating himself with "fluids" from his mysterious circle, he thought clearly for the first time in days, and devised a plan. He would strike back at Augustus, who loved 30 degree angles, by creating a new unit of angle measure. He'd call it a "gradian". There would be 400 gradians in a full turn, meaning 30 degrees would be 100/3 gradians, making those angles far more inconvenient to use. Furthermore, 45 degrees would be 50 gradians, a far more convenient number. Naturally, when he released it to the public, it was met with opposition from Augustus, who wanted to keep the old units in use to maximize the use of his angles.

They continued to battle it out, until a new unit, the kroigenflorper, somehow became the primary unit for angle measure. There were log3[h+π^(e+7)]* kroigenflorpers in a full turn, making work with angles of any kind horribly inconvenient, causing angles to be avoided altogether. Society slowly crumbled over time due to lack of ability to measure angles. The kroigenflorper's malevolent creator, the Big Swedish Man, decided to move on to ruin some of the basic SI units of measure as well. He started by making electrical resistance immeasurable through use of methods that can not be conveyed through conventional means. He then made a set of units measuring mass, and gave each cultural bloc a different one, while also making them subject to inflation. After that came simple numbering and amount, causing things to only be able to be quantified while in multiples of euler's number. Next was luminous intensity, which now used the "fleep", a derivative of every pre-Big-Swedish-Man unit. Length was next on the list, which had the unit known as the "βΣΦΨϢ", and was 6i kilograms long. At that point, the Big Swedish Man was satisfied with his work, knowing that the only reason his units were accepted was the fact that people knew what happened to those who went against the will of the Big Swedish Man.

*h = Planck's Constant: ~6.626 x 10^(-34)