After a good game in comp, I added him as a friend because he seemed like a great guy. We talked for a few months and became good friends—lots of laughs, lots of great games, and most importantly, a strong friendship.

I invited him over to my place for a CS bootcamp. He said he would come, so I was eagerly looking forward to meeting him in real life.

When he arrived at my house, he aggressively pushed me against the wall and started biting my ear. I felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ pressing against my leg. I hit him, he started crying, and ran away. Turns out he was gay—don't trust this guy.

As I awaken from my slumber, I rub my eyes, and there he is next to me. My king. Lebron James. Not actually though, just a life-size body pillow measuring six feet nine inches and weighing 250 pounds.

I push aside the Lebron shower curtain and hop in. I quickly apply my Lebron scented soap and get out. I brush my teeth with my Lebron toothbrush while listening to his career highlights to keep my brain busy. After I finish my routine, I choose a jersey from my collection, and I make sure everything is where it needs to be before I set out for the day. Lebron posters? Check. Lebron shrine? Check. Lebron Space Jam: A New Legacy squishy stretch toy? Check. Everything is good, now I can leave.

Most days, I don’t even leave the house. There’s no need. Everything I need, I already have.

LeBron Raymone James if you’re reading this, thank you for everything.

let's aim for victory

netisha

+rep AK GOD

+rep USP precision shooter