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that was pretty rude, my dude

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Ever sicne i was 7 years old, i've felt a dubious atrraction to all animals i have laid my eyes upon, being unsure of whether this is healthy, i have untill this moment kept my feelings to myself. I can't quite explain what it is about animals: i just get this insane urge to wap my penis out and stick it up there hairy, tender ***'s. Last month, my best friend got a new puppy: a minature schnauzer. Ofcourse he invited me over to see him: something im sure of which he would not be willing to do if he knew of my mental condition. Knowing this could only go wrong, i went to his house regardless: some deep urge from within me made me, maybe it was the star-spanggled promise of some booty, i don't know, but i went. There my friend urged me to pet his schnauzer and even hold him. This made me tingle in ways i have never known, and erect a ***** of indomitable proportion. Ever since then i have had this potent urge to see his dog again, alone and secluded and make sweet love to it. Help me!

hey, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture, I really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx

Excuse me sir, im a vulerable little girl im 12 years old i need some assistance it appears i have lost my mother when i was in the barbie section in the department store, Could you please help me? i would be so grateful if you did oh whats that? my mommy is in the mens restroom welp Im stupid as hell so i guess ill follow you! oh now were in the restroom the mens restroom hwat! your unzipping pants Wow is that a penis i heard alot about those ok you want me to suck ithak;dhjakw;ldhfkl;awhdkljawhdlawhldhawd idk how this will help me find my mom but wut evs ekhfkhawkljhfdla;jwhfj;awhfjwahf;jwafhjawhf Well that was a tasty treat that cannot be beat! Oh whats that? Is that a gun and your gonna murder me? Welp See yah later!