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Hawk two: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣉⡙⠛⣉⣉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣿⣾⣿⡿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡘⠻⣿⠟⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣶⣤⣼⠟⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢡⣶⣦⡌⠻⡿⢁⣾⣷⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢻⣿⣿⣦⡀⢸⣿⡏⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠙⢿⣿⣿⣆⠙⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡌⠻⣿⣿⣷⣄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢡⣴⣤⡘⢿⣿⣿⣧⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢋⣁⠘⢿⣿⣿⣆⠙⣿⣿⣷⡀⢻⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠿⠀⣿⣿⣷⣄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠈⣿⣿
⣿⡟⢠⣶⣤⡈⠻⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣰⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡈⢿⣿⣿⣶⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣰⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣷⣄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣉⠛⠛⠛⢛⣉⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠈⠑⢦⡀Are ya winning son?
⠀⠀⢀⠖⠒⠒⠒⢤⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦
⣀⢤⣼⣀⡠⠤⠤⠼⠤⡄⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙
⠑⡤⠤⡒⠒⠒⡊⠙⡏⠀⢀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠇⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⢀⠧⠟⠁⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡇
⠀⠸⣀⠀⠀⠈⢉⠟⠓⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸
⠀⠀⠈⢱⡖⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸
⠀⠀⣠⢺⠧⢄⣀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸
⠀⣠⠃⢸⠀⠀⠈⠉⡽⠿⠯⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸
⣰⠁⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸
⠣⠀⠀⢸⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸
⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸
⠀⠀⠀⡌⠀⠈⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸
⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸
⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸
"I could totally fit this up my ass" he thought to himself, wondering briefly about all of the various juicy branches he had left strewn around the forest floor. He was grateful to Dumbledore who had told the students not to venture into his vast outdoor playground under the guise of it being "dangerous". Hagrid chuckled, what a man Dumbledore, he had never seen such a scrawny man with such large and lanky nipples. He sighed.
"Looks like it's just you and me tonight, branchy." he muttered as he reached to undo his buttons. It was time for Hagrid to perform the darkest of muggle magics, Recto Locomoto was a spell only Hagrid knew, its magic different from normal spells. Only a half-giant with a heart of gold could enjoy the brown-town jousting without any lasting damage. His muggle tunnel calloused and fortified by years of "love" and "self-care".